Page 93 of Eastern Lights

That made me sad for her, because I knew what loneliness felt like. Maybe not as deeply as her, because I was pretty content with my loneliness. Sometimes I’d have women come into my life for random flings, but I’d learned to enjoy my own company.

“I’d rather be alone by myself than lonely with someone else,” I told her. She smiled, but it felt so sad. I reached across to her and took her hands into mine. “Red, by the end of this, you’re going to be stronger than you ever thought. You’re going to wake up and feel full without the need of another soul, but it will take some time. I’ll be right here beside you, too. You’re going to be confident, and strong, and not take anyone’s bullshit even if their lies feel a bit comforting. You’re going to learn quickly that it’s so much better to sit in moments of ugly truths than swim in beautiful lies.”

28

Aaliyah

“There isno way in hell I’m putting that on,” I said, standing in the living room with my hands on my hips. It had only been twenty-four hours since Connor had become my life coach, and he had already lost his freaking mind.

“Oh, yes the hell you are.”

There he was, standing in the middle of his home, wearing a banana outfit. He was grinning ear to ear like a dork as he held my costume in his hand—a plum.

“You’re insane.”

“Yes,” he agreed, then he held the costume out toward me. “Now get dressed.”

“No way. I refuse to become a plum.”

“If you’re interested, I have a peach costume in my bedroom,” he offered with his devilish smirk.

“Where did you even get these?”

“Amazon Prime, same day shipping.”

Thanks a lot, Jeff Bezos.

He began shaking his banana around as he came toward me. “Come on, Red. You had no problem exploring New York with me two years ago in costumes.”

“That’s because it was Halloween night! Everyone was in costumes.”

“Since when do we care what everyone’s doing?”

“Uh, since forever?”

He walked toward me, with his banana end poking me in the side. “Which is exactly why we are going to do this. We are going to step outside of the mode and do what no one else is doing. We are going to make fools of ourselves, because the more comfortable we become with being uncomfortable, the more comfortable we will end up.”

I blinked a few times. “Nothing about what you said made any sense.”

“All I’m saying is, we are going to have a fun day being weird and exploring town dressed as sexually charged fruits, because we don’t care what other people think of us. Life is too short to not have fun and dress up like fruit on random Saturday nights.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Yes.” He held the costume out toward me. “Now, go get dressed.” I parted my lips to argue some more, but he placed his finger against my lips, shushing me. “You promised you would let me coach you. Now, come on. Let’s get this going.”

Reluctantly, I put on the plum outfit, and came out feeling like a complete fool. I was round, plump, and a nice vibrant purple.

Connor’s face exploded with laughter as he stared my way. “Oh my gosh, this is so much better than I’d imagined it to be.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving the house like this,” I told him.

“You are definitely leaving the house like this. Come on, we gotta go.” He walked over to his dining room table and picked up a huge boom box. Why in the world did he have a boombox? This guy was so weird in the best of ways.

“Where exactly are we going?” I asked. “And why do we need a boombox?”

“We’re going to Times Square, to put on a show,” he told me, grabbing his keys off the coffee table. “So, let’s go.”

A show? What? No. Nope. I didn’t sign up for any public actions of humiliation.

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