Page 126 of Eastern Lights

“Yes, I love her.” That was the first time I’d admitted it. It was the first time I’d allowed those words to leave my mouth even though they’d been sitting heavily in my chest for weeks.

“Does that scare you?”

“Terrifies me.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Sometimes you have to be afraid of the things you love in order to make sure you don’t ever lose them again.”

“She’s already gone. I can’t even blame her. I’m the asshole who pushed her away when she was struggling the most.”

“Do you think she loves you, too?”

I nodded slowly. “I believe so. I hope so.”

“Then it’s not over. When two people love each other, you work through the pitfalls. You fight for one another. You don’t give up. Now, just figure out a way to prove to her that no matter what, no matter when times get hard, that you will not run anymore. From the sound of it, this poor girl has been abandoned in her life. Prove to her that you’re here to stay.”

* * *

The next morning,I woke up feeling even more exhausted than the night before. Perhaps drinking half a bottle of whiskey with my newfound friend Danny-boy wasn’t the greatest idea, but at least I wasn’t drinking alone.

“Connor! You have a visitor!” Mom hollered through the house, making me groan.

My head was pounding as I pulled myself out of bed and headed to the living room. A small, broken smile hit me as I looked up to see a familiar face.

“Hey, kid,” Jax said, frowning. He slid his hands into his oil-stained jeans. “Heard you were in town.”

“My mom called you?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “She said you were going through some major shit.”

“Yeah.”

“As you know, I’m not really good with dealing with emotions and stuff…so how about instead, we go old school and you join me on a plumbing job this morning?”

“Like the good ole days?”

“Yup. Come on. I made you a protein shake.”

I grimaced. “Can we just grab some donuts?”

“Never. Go get dressed fast, will you? You’re late.”

I hurried off and went to get ready. About fifteen minutes later, I was hopping into Jax’s passenger seat and I instantly was transported back to when I was seventeen-years-old, having my daily drives with him. Sometimes I wished I could go back to that time period, just so I wouldn’t have to feel the way I felt today.

“How’s Kennedy and Elizabeth doing?” I asked about his wife and daughter.

“Good, good. Elizabeth’s into gymnastics nowadays, and let me tell you, that’s not a cheap fucking hobby. But I can’t say no to the girl, even if she’s a demon child as a preteen. Kennedy’s pregnant again. We just found out last week. I’m not supposed to tell anyone yet, but you’re not anyone, you’re you.”

“Me, your bestest friend in the whole world.”

He rolled his eyes. I smirked.

Some things never changed.

We showed up to Old Man Mike’s house, which was fucking disgusting. Mike was a hoarder, with at least thirteen cats running around his house. Everyone in town knew that the idea of going into Mike’s house was hell. Whenever he made pies for the town’s festivals, people smiled in his face as they took a slice, then tossed it into the trash.

We were working Mike’s toilet, which looked as if it’s been backed up for years. The color of the water along with the smell almost made me gag.

“I don’t miss this job,” I confessed, holding my shirt over my nose. Jax seemed unmoved by it.

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