Page 124 of Eastern Lights

“We never finished the interview. You were supposed to come down to Kentucky to see my past.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not going to work out. Besides, my doctors don’t think it’s safe for me to travel with my condition.”

With her condition.

Those words were another reminder to me that she was sick. That she was dying. That she was facing a time limit against life, and she was losing.Please don’t die...

Emotion sat at the back of my throat. I was on the brink of falling apart, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t express myself; I couldn’t tell her how I felt, so like a damn idiot, I stayed quiet.

“Besides, I think I have enough to write the article. I have everything I need,” she explained.

I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t be man enough to actually spit out the words. I should’ve told her to stay. I should’ve told her I’d be in her corner no matter what happened. I should’ve pulled her into my arms and comforted her because she had to be scared. She had to be terrified of everything that was happening.

I should’ve begged for her to stay, but, instead like an idiot, I let her walk away.

39

Connor

I leftNew York and flew down to Kentucky with my tail between my legs. I knew I’d made a huge mistake ending things with Aaliyah, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it right. Also, the idea of losing her was still so heavy on my chest. I couldn’t stop researching heart failure ever since I’d found out. I’d been looking for treatments, calling specialists, falling apart and hating the universe for bringing Aaliyah back into my life to only take her away from me again.

This shit wasn’t fair.

As my plane landed in Kentucky, I was greeted at the baggage claim when Mom rushed over to my side. Within seconds, her arms were wrapped around me, squeezing me so tight. I got choked up just from the comfort of her embrace. You’d never knew how much you needed your mother’s hug until you were on the verge of a breakdown.

“Oh, sweetie! I’m so happy to see you!” She looked around the area with wide eyes filled with hope.

My chest just about caved in when I realized she was searching for Aaliyah. “She’s not here, Mom.”

“What? But I thought you were bringing her into town to show her—”

“She’s dying,” I spat out. I couldn’t hold it in anymore as I choked on my words. Tears began falling down my cheeks as I whispered. “She’s dying, Mom.”

* * *

We got back home,and I fell into a deeper depression, just thinking about Aaliyah. I hated myself for being such a little shit. I hated myself for being afraid of losing her. I hated myself for abandoning her.

“Heart failure? But she’s so young,” Mom said as she made a pot of coffee. “That’s so heartbreaking.”

“Yeah,” I said. It was all I could manage.

Before she could say anything else, the front door opened, and a man walked into my mom’s house as if he owned the place.

“Honey, I’m homeeee!” he said in a singsong voice. He came marching into the house, and the moment he saw me, he clapped his hands together. “Oh, my goodness! Connor! Put it there!” he said, grabbing my hand and shaking it aggressively. It must’ve been that Danny guy Mom had been going on and on about. Great.

Clearly, he couldn’t read the energy of the room because he was smiling and giddy as ever. He was dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with pink and yellow flowers all over it, neon green pants, and a tie-dye hat on his head. The dude was well into his sixties, dressing as if he were a toddler who got to dress themselves for the day.

Really, Mom? Him?

“Yeah, good to meet you, too, Dan.”

“It’s Danny,” he said. “So, where’s this special lady that I heard you were bringing home today?” he asked.

I knew he didn’t mean for it, but that question was a sucker punch to my soul.

Mom walked over and wrapped her arms around Danny’s waist. “I wish this was better news, but it turns out Aaliyah has some serious health issues. She wasn’t able to make it.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Danny asked.

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