Page 127 of The Wreckage of Us

We headed straight to the hospital from the barn house. Big Paw and Grams were picked up by an ambulance, and everyone else was following closely behind. For the most part, the trip was driven in complete silence. Finally, Marcus took control and turned on the radio. After two songs, ours came on the station and blasted through the speakers.

“Jeez,” James sighed, shaking his head. “I’m never going to get used to that. I’m never going to wrap my head around the fact that we’re on the radio.”

“Life’s crazy,” I muttered, chewing on my thumbnail as I stared out toward the dirt roads we were approaching.

We pulled up to the hospital, and I shot out of the car and hurried inside. I walked up to the receptionist’s desk to ask about Grams but was cut off.

“Ian.”

I turned around to see Big Paw standing behind us.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“They think she might need a pacemaker put in. But first, they have to go in and repair a vessel,” he explained. “They are prepping her for surgery now.”

Surgery?

Fuck.

“Can you believe that bullshit?” Big Paw grimaced. “These SOBs want to cut into my Holly’s heart.” His voice cracked, and tears fell down his cheeks. “How wrong is that?”

I walked over to Big Paw and patted him on the back. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay.”

“How can you say that? You don’t know that for sure,” he argued.

“Yeah, I know, but that’s what Grams would say, isn’t it? She’d say that everything always works out. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the story.”

He huffed, wiping his overworked hands against his face. “That’s just some mumbo jumbo bullshit she says. That woman is going to be the death of me. I can’t believe she’s doing this to me.” His tears began falling faster and faster. “How can she go in there and let those people cut into her?”

“I don’t think she has a choice, Big Paw, but I’m sure these doctors are good at what they do. They are great at their jobs. They are going to take care of Grams; I know it. You just have to have a little faith.”

“I can’t. Holly was the one with faith. I’m the old fart who doesn’t believe in any of that shit. It’s funny, actually,” he said with such a somber tone. “They are cutting into her heart, but it’s mine that’s breaking.”

I pulled him into a hug and held on tight, trying to help his troubled heart, but I knew nothing would help him until the love of his life was coming through the other side of surgery.

We all sat in the waiting room while Grams was in surgery. My bandmates and I shut off our phones, because the nonstop messages from Max were starting to drive us up a wall. My grandmother’s life was on the line, and all Max cared about were the numbers and the dollar figures he was losing out on. It was as if we were nothing more than robots in his money machine.

I sat with my hands clasped together, tapping my feet against the carpeted floor, unable to steady my movements. The idea of Grams not making it out of surgery and not being okay shook me to my core. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the time I’d spent away from home, chasing a dream, while my grandmother’s health was failing.

Who knew how much time I had left with them? I should’ve been home. I should’ve been helping them around the ranch. Hell, Big Paw shouldn’t have been working still.

Rosie sat in her car seat, sleeping, and I was jealous of the amount of peacefulness that baby had. I wished life was that easy and peaceful. A hand slipped over mine, and I looked up to see Hazel standing over me. She gave me that small smile that I loved so much, and she sat down in the chair next to me. She held my hand, even though I hadn’t asked her to. She held on tight, and I was thankful for that. I needed a hand to hold. I needed something to stop the nerves from taking over my whole system, and a simple touch from that girl calmed the wildest parts of my soul.

“Thank you,” I murmured so quietly I wasn’t even certain she heard my words.

At that point, she held on tighter.

When the doctor came out, he didn’t look as ecstatic about the surgery as we would’ve liked. We all shot to our feet, Big Paw standing more quickly than anyone, and we approached him.

“What’s going on?” he barked at the doctor, sounding grumpier and more annoyed than ever before. “I don’t get why nobody has been out here to update us on my Holly! What kind of goddamn place is being run here, anyway? Is it run by apes? This is madness.”

I stepped closer to the doctor, who looked taken aback by Big Paw’s strong opinion. I gave the doctor a half grin. “Hey, sorry about that. My grandfather is just worried about his wife.”

The doctor tried to keep his composure, even though I was certain he had a few choice words for Big Paw. “It is okay. There were a few issues with the surgery, and we weren’t able to get in the way we’d hoped we could. There was a lot of fluid around the lungs, and we didn’t feel comfortable doing the surgery before we were able to drain some of that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Big Paw huffed. “You’re telling me you all been back there all this time and haven’t even done anything?”

“I’m sorry, Mr.Parker, but we had to determine the best route to take for your wife’s safety. We didn’t want to cause more damage by opening her up on the table when she wasn’t physically strong enough to handle it. We’re going to work over the next few days and make sure that we get her to a stable place, and then we will revisit the surgery option.”

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