Page 21 of Kingdoms of Shadow and Ash

She put a hand on his hard chest and snuggled into his warmth, almost purring.

'I love you, Fyia,' he murmured into her hair. 'Since I first met you.'

'Don't,' she said, bunching her hand in the fabric of his tunic, 'we're not doing that.'

'Fyia …'

She lifted her head to look at him. 'I want you in my bed, I won't deny that. I want … comfort, but I can't forget what you did.'

He closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. 'Will you ever forgive me for killing King Milo?'

'That's not what I meant …'

'Then, what?'

Her words had confused him … of course they had. 'You betrayed me long before Milo.' Fyia shook her head against the memory of his first betrayal.

'What are you talking about?' His eyes bored into hers.

'Did you know we were almost engaged?'

Adigos frowned, then shook his head slowly.

She couldn't suck in enough air, but she pressed on, needing to finally tell him. 'I convinced my parents to agree to the match. You weren't from the most advantageous family, but I sold them on your potential, and, of course, your relationship with my brother helped.'

Adigos was still as a statue, his muscles rigid under her hand, his eyes glued to hers.

'You'd said all the right things: you loved me, would only ever want me, that I wasspecial.'

'All true.'

'Stop it,' she said, snatching her hand away and rearing back. 'Show me some respect.'

'I …'

'I saw you one night on the stairs, pushing a maid into an alcove.'

Adigos shook his head, an incredulous look on his face. 'I was young and foolish; sex occupied at least half of my waking thoughts. It was … only sex.'

'Of course. You would never stoop so low as tomarrya maid.'

'Fyia …'

'I told my parents I'd changed my mind. It was another item to add to the long list of my imperfections … another reason for them to remove me from the line of succession. If I couldn’t handle my personal affairs, then what hope did I have of managing a whole kingdom? People would dupe me with regularity.'

'I'm … Fyia … I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. I should thank you. You taught me not to trust the words from people's mouths. If you hadn't, I probably wouldn't be Queen.'

'My words were true. I do love you. You are special.'

'But not the whole truth.'

'I've never wanted anyone like I want you,' said Adigos, his hand cupping her face.

She hated herself, but it was nice to be touched, so she leaned in. 'And you can have me, for sex. What fraction of your waking thoughts does that occupy now?'

He let out a noise of exasperation, removed his hand, and moved as though to get up. She felt the loss of him … didn’t want him to leave, so pulled him back and straddled him. She wove her hands into his hair, tugging gently so his head tipped back, forcing his eyes to meet hers. 'Do you want me?' she asked, feeling the evidence in his breeches that he did.

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