Page 29 of Addicted

“Only you can decide what’s right for you. I tell my patients when a defense mechanism stops working, there’s a reason.”

I stand, “Thanks Paul. You’re a good friend.”

He kisses me on the forehead, “You will get through this Stella.”

I smile.

“For what it’s worth, Fort Stella is and never was a healthy way of coping with things. It was only a matter of time before it stopped being effective.”

“Bye Paul. Tell April I said to call me. Girls night.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I wonder if things are okay.

“Bye Stella.”

I run back to my hotel, knowing that I’ll have to see Jamie today. It’s been three days and we really need to speed up the writing. He’s going to try to get me into bed. He’ll try to kiss me. He’ll whisper in my ear. I’ve decided to be strong. I will not let it happen again. Paul says that Fort Stella isn’t working anymore. It’s worked my entire life. I am in control of it, of me. I’m going to push him away. We’ll write the book and that’s that. No more kissing, sleeping over, or sex. I enjoy him sexually, but this is not the man who will be my next fuck buddy. He can’t be. Jamie is far too risky for me. I am taking control back.

Walking into my hotel, I smell roses. They are putting up a new arch made of flowers. It smells heavenly. It’s got roses, gardenias, lavender flowers and more. It’s stunning. Heavenly really. Walking through the hotel bar to get to the elevator, I see Jamie sitting there. I hope he doesn’t notice me. I pull my hoodie up and make a beeline for the elevator. The elevator doors close and I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m going to have to deal with him soon enough.

Opening my hotel room door, I stroll in and throw myself on the couch. I need to take a shower. All I can think about is Jamie’s mouth kissing me, licking me, and his massive cock inside of me. It’s too much to bear. Why can’t I get him out of my head? What the fuck is wrong with me? On my way to the shower, I hear my phone ping.

From: Jamie…Stella, please talk to me.

From: Jamie… I’m at your door.

Not only does he come on strong, he’s so persistent. I ignore the door and get in the shower. I’ll see him later. I don’t want to see him right now. Taking my clothes off, I toss them in the laundry hamper. I turn the shower on and step inside, trying to cleanse my brain of all things sex, but I can’t. My eyes were closed and all I could picture were eyes penetrating my body with his heat. I put my left hand at the top of the shower wall to stabilize myself and let my right hand wander between my legs. I circle my clit and remember Jamie doing the same thing to me. It’s not the same, but finally I feel my muscles clench as I find a sweet release. I came, wishing it was Jamie’s fingers, not my own. What the hell is wrong with me?

Seven

CHAPTER 7

JAMIE

It’s been three days. She doesn’t respond to my calls, my texts, or my knocking on her door. What have I done? I pushed too hard and now she’s just gone. Not gone from the hotel, simply gone from my life. I asked the front desk if she had checked out and they confirmed she’s still in the hotel. God, I need to see her again. She did warn me that when men develop feelings that she’s done. I never told her that I’m falling in love with her for this very reason. I’ve given up hoping that it’s her knocking at my door. So when I hear a knock at the door this morning, I assume it’s housekeeping as it has been for the last three days. I open the door and my breath hitches when I see Stella standing in front of me. Damn, she’s so beautiful. I’ve never seen a woman like her. She’s perfect. I pull her into my room and lean in for a kiss.

“No.”

She’s never told me no.

“I can be professional if you can.”

“Of course,” I say.

I’m feeling like I’ve been kicked in the gut.

Sitting on the couch, I just stare at her as she posts notes on the corkboard we have set up. The way she moves her hips makes my body react. Remembering every time I’ve been inside her is pure torture. It’s a combination of heaven and hell. Getting up, I stand behind her, pressing my erection into her perfect ass, and whisper in her ear, “Stella, I don’t love you, but I would sure love to fuck you.”

“We tried that. It didn’t work.”

“What the hell didn’t work about it? I seem to remember you screaming in pleasure.”

“We said no kissing.”

“You kissed me, Stella. Not the other way around.”

“I know. It’s my fault, but I can’t.”

“Damn it. You have feelings for me.”

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