Page 48 of Infamous Heart

“Don’t turn this around on me. You were going to let a man die.” I stepped closer so he could hear my whisper. “I’m not the one wasting my abilities hiding. But then, I should know better. Being a hero and doing the right thing doesn’t fit into your posh lifestyle.”

He didn’t have a reply. There was disappointment at the lack of a retort. One-by-one, I loaded the chamber, ready to pull the trigger should he push me. The old Griffin would have walked away and ugly cried while eating his feelings. That was before the Beacon fired me and a man I could have loved turned out to be just as much an asshole as all the others.

“It doesn’t make it right.” His words didn’t have the same aggression as before. Had I struck a nerve and wounded the man? The confidence he normally exuded vanished, but I wouldn’t let puppy dog eyes deter me.

“This isn’t me.” I held up the jacket and pointed to my tie. “Last night I got dressed up, I stepped outside my comfort zone. I waited for an hour. An hour, Sebastian. No texts. No calls. You didn’t just bail, you ghosted me. And even after doing that, you didn’t even say sorry.”

“I’m—“

I held up my hand. “Don’t. It’s too little, too late. I might have my issues, but I don’t deserve to be treated like garbage. Whatever is going on with you and Rebecca, that’s between the two of you now. Be grateful I cared enough to tell you that Rebecca, that harpy, knows your secret.”

“Griffin…”

I shook my head. This argument was over, this thing between us, it evaporated. I spun about and stormed off before he could see the tears welling in the corner of my eyes. He had already stabbed me in the heart. I wouldn’t let him rob me of my dignity.

I had said my peace, but nothing about it felt good.

19

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay.”

Bernard pulled a stool from under the table. Bottom’s Up wasn’t a busy place during the week, and other than Mick at the bar and a few patrons playing pool, it was dead. The narrow room had a bar on one side and tables lining the opposite wall. He could tell I had something on my mind when he gestured for us to sit at a table instead of our usual spot at the bar.

The Ward was a tight-knit community and after living here for years, it had become an extended family. By day we hopped from restaurants to the coffee shop, but once the sun went down, this dive bar transformed into the catch-all for gay men. It didn’t hurt that the drinks were dirt cheap, and, with a little flirting, Mick might top you off without charging.

“To be honest, you look like you were hit with a truck.”

Bernard had a knack for being direct without being judgmental. He didn’t sugarcoat his words, and more often than not, his brand of tough love hit home.

He raised his glass, taking a swig of beer. His mustache had grown long enough that he had to wipe it after every drink. When I first met him, he had kept it trimmed, but as of late, he’d turned into a mountain man. While he was wonderful at solving the problems of others, he rarely shared his own demons. If he thought it was going unnoticed, he was sorely mistaken.

“Everybody knows I don’t handle change well.” I swirled the whisky in my glass until the smell reached my nose. “This has been a lot of change.”

“Would you do it again?”

“Yes. No. Maybe? I honestly don’t know.” I took a sip, pacing myself so I didn’t have a repeat of last night. “I’m tired of this, Bernard. I’ve been spinning my wheels for so long, and then these great opportunities come along, and…”

“They’re not so great?”

“The Beacon treated me like dirt. Maybe I—“

“If you say you deserved it, I’ll reach across this table and knock the stupid out of you.”

Tough love.

“Apparently, all my career needed was for me to go morally bankrupt. Awesome Griffin, you’re great at your job, but ethics are holding you back.”

Bernard raised an eyebrow. I had barely explained the situation beyond leaving the Beacon and attempting a position at Revelations. Alejandro and Xander would have pressed for more details, but not Bernard. He knew when to push forward and give me a swift kick in the butt and when to let my omission of details stand.

“I think we’ve established how much I love superheroes.”

“I just assumed you’re wearing undies with a giant, ‘pow’ or ‘bam’ on them,” he teased.

“So, you have x-ray vision now?”

He squinted as he put a finger on each temple. “Looks like I was wrong.” He gave me a wink. “Impressive none the less.”

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