Page 53 of The Pink House

Charlie shrugged. “Even as a kid, I remember thinking that when I grew up, that wasn’t going to be my life.”

Hannah recalled Brian telling her that Tom Rogan had left his job and GraceTown even before his divorce from Lisa was final. “What’s he doing now?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Because of the divorce?”

“Because he walked away from my mother when she was in the hospital and needed him most. He never looked back.” Charlie’s eyes went flat and hard.

Hannah swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry I made you remember.”

“Just because you don’t talk about something doesn’t mean you don’t remember.”

“You’re right.” Just because Hannah didn’t bring Brian up all the time anymore didn’t mean he wasn’t on her mind. “I am sorry he was such a disappointment to you and your mom.”

“When he married her, he vowed he’d be there in sickness and in health. I guess he had a short memory.” Charlie’s tone turned fierce. “I would never walk away like that.”

Hannah shook her head. “No. You’re not that kind of person.”

“You’re not that kind either.” Charlie surprised her by reaching over and covering her hand with his. “You were there for Brian when he needed you most.”

“I did my best.” Hannah expelled a breath. “When Brian got sick, well, I didn’t know what to say, and whatever I did say, it was usually wrong.”

“I don’t believe that.” Charlie’s fingers tightened around her hand.

“You weren’t there. You don’t know.” Only then did Hannah realize how cold her fingers were, a coldness that went all the way to her bones as she recalled those brief weeks between Brian’s diagnosis and his death.

“Why don’t you give me an example?” Charlie’s voice, low and calm, encouraged confidences. “Let me be the judge.”

Hannah shifted her gaze over his left shoulder and spoke into the darkness. “The prognosis was poor from the beginning. While the doctors did offer a few options, they weren’t optimistic. I tried to be positive, to, you know, be his cheerleader. The whole ‘you’re going to do great,’ ‘you’re strong and determined.’ I shied away from mentioning anything negative. It didn’t feel like the right approach.”

His hand still covered hers, and she made no move to pull away, finding comfort in the simple touch.

“Brian wanted to be realistic.”

“I tried that route, too.” Hannah’s tone turned bleak. “I’d tell him I was going to miss him so much and how my life wouldn’t be the same without him.”

“He didn’t want to hear that either.”

Hannah slowly shook her head and pulled her attention back to Charlie. “He would get so angry, asking why I had him already buried when he was still fighting to live.” Tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t have him dead and buried. I just wanted to make sure he knew how much I loved him.”

The tears spilled over and slipped down her cheeks.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Leaning over, Charlie cupped her face in his large hands, his eyes dark and intense. “It was a difficult time for him and for you. You were both doing the best you could under horrible circumstances. The love you shared is what matters.”

Hannah didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure she could have found her voice even if she’d had something to say.

“Brian loved you, Hannah. With his whole heart. And you loved him. If you remember nothing else, remember that.”

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

Hannah crawled into her pup tent and wiggled into the sleeping bag, conscious of Charlie’s protective gaze on her. After too many cake balls, coupled with a can of soda with caffeine, Hannah worried she might not be able to sleep when they finally called it a night.

Despite the hard ground beneath her and the caffeine and sugar surging through her system, she fell asleep immediately. She wasn’t sure what caused her to wake several hours later.

Or why, instead of lying there and drifting back to sleep, she unzipped the sleeping bag and crawled out of the tent.

The night air, warm and still, wrapped around her like a comfortable blanket as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She sniffed the air.

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