Page 74 of Deviant Knight

“See, you got one,” Sienna comments. “Now let’s get the fuck out of dodge before the cops show up. We need to get home so one of the guys can erase any footage involving us.”

“But they came after us. They tried to hurt us, plus, they fired first,” I explain.

“Not chancing self-defense in front of a judge, sweetie. Now, let’s get out of here,” she says as I hear the first sounds of sirens in the background that jolt me to run back to the vehicle.

It’s not until we’re five minutes from pulling into the driveway at the Nikolayev’s that the gravity of what I did sinks in.

Liam O’Donovan, the most feared man in all of Ireland is dead—and I killed him. He was the first and only man I ever calledDaddy. I only made that mistake once. I’d been four or five and the word just slipped out. He quickly told me he wasn’t my father. He said he wasn’t even my uncle, but that was what I’d call him because he’s the man fathers give their children to for punishment and I wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t done something I shouldn’t have—beenborn a girl.

I never loved him. My first nanny was the only person I remember saying I love you too. I vaguely remember her now except when she looked at me it made me smile. He overheard me say those simple, sweet, innocent words to the hired help, or in her case, the captured and forced to do as you’re told.

He called me into his office, Maley followed. She wasn’t even two steps inside the door when he shot her between the eyes. Her body dropped and landed beside me. I still remember the shock on her lifeless face. It’s an image I’ll never forget.

He then told me,love is a bullshit term used to confuse the weak. Love doesn’t exist. It’s not real. Tricking your mind into believing you love someone or that they love you only ends in death.

Sometimes I used to wonder if my uncle was the way he was because someone broke his heart, if he was born a bad person, or if he grew into one.

I guess I’ll never know the answer to that question ping-ponging against the inside of my head. He would have never told me anyway, so it’s not like I would have found out and I shouldn’t even care.

I shouldn’t care that he’s dead. I shouldn’t care that I took his life, my half-brother’s life, or evenOwen Donovan’s.

I never knewhewas Liam’s brother. I did know my uncle had a brother that lived in America and was a high-ranking official in law enforcement, but I didn’t think he ever came to visit his older brother in Ireland. But I was wrong. I had met him.

From time to time he would show up with other men like they were on holiday, and they’d be dressed in expensive suits; most even wearing a wedding band on their left hand.

Owen was the one that put me on Admir Kovaçi’s radar. He was the one that pushed my uncle to make Admir an offer he couldn’t refuse, but that was after Owen had helped to foster and grow the Albanian devil’s obsession—with me.

For that reason, I am not sorry one bit about his death. I just wish I’d aimed better and it had been me that took the kill shot that had ended his evil life.

Four out of the five tormentors of my life are gone. But one remains. Somewhere. And men like him don’t just give up an addiction just because their suppliers have vanished.

What if Liam’s thoughts onloveare factual, and it’s not a tangible emotion?

What if I traded one man’s fixation for two others, and it’s my delusion causing me to see Domenico and Krishna differently from how I think about Admir?

One took and stole and never asked permission for anything his black heart had an appetite for. The other two waited for my consent every time. But how do I know I didn’t just dream that up because I needed it? How do I know the warmth in my chest when I’m with both of them is anything more than my brain playing a trick on me?

How can someone be trustworthy if there is an absence of love?

CHAPTER 38

DOMENICO

When the girls didn’t return as instructed, I ordered my guy not to let them out of his sight. To call me immediately if he saw anything that even remotely looked suspicious or felt off.

Sienna and Sasha have zero to prove. We all know they can handle themselves better than the average woman. I commend my father and Krishna’s for making sure anyone that tried to hurt them would live to regret it by their hands with the abilities they were taught.

I didn’t know all the facts. I didn’t know how far O’Donovan’s reach extended. I still don’t.

This wasn’t about them doing as I say because I said so. This was about all of us being together and having each other’s backs.

I want to wring their goddamn necks for this bullshit, and then I want to punch myself for not going after them. Had I, this would not have happened. They would have been here. They wouldn’t have nearly gotten killed.

“All of you sit your asses on the couch,” K orders as he, Matteo, Lorenzo, and I stand side by side with arms crossed.

“Not you, Brooklyn. You can go do kid shit. You aren’t in trouble like the rest of them are,” I say.

Sienna takes a seat first, then Sasha next to her left, and finally, Ciera sits on Sasha’s other side.

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