Page 62 of Deviant Knight

“This’s fine,” I say, reaching for the box and opening the lid. “It’s not a big deal.”

At this point, I’d eat anything, even that canned meat that grossed me out every time I’d see my brother, Killian, down the contents like it was the best cuisine he’d ever placed on his tongue. Multiple types of meat blended together and smooshed into a tin can that looks like cat food isn’t normal, but I’m starving. Pizza isn’t the most appealing food in the world, but it’s better than nothing and far superior to the feline delicacy.

“I’m dealing with enough shit,” Sienna barks, her eyes going from her brother to Giovanni. “You both can take your pissing contest somewhere else while the grown-ups discuss a man’s funeral.”

Her fists ball from where she sits across from me with her forearms resting against the marble of the countertop. Her jaw firms as her eyes close for the briefest of seconds as if she’s trying harder than she’s capable of to hold back tears.

“After Dad’s funeral,” Lorenzo interjects, continuing where his twin sister stopped when their brother interrupted her. “The captains want a meeting with you, Dom. I’ve already agreed to it because it’s better to handle them and make sure they’re all in line before dealing with anything else.”

“Fine. But I don’t want anyone to be told where that meeting will take place until after Dad is in the ground. Got it?” Domenico says, an edge to his tone mixed with anger and something else I imagine he’s working overtime to conceal from the rest of the world.Grief.

“Understood,” Ren agrees, his head tipping down in a nod.

“Eat, kitten,” Krishna says in a hushed tone. “Eat, or tell me what you want.”

I pick up a slice and quickly shove it into my mouth. I’m not going to complain or not eat what has been provided. I’m not ungrateful, nor would I suggest anyone catering to me. They have enough on their plates. I’m not going to give anyone a reason to turn me over to my uncle when their father’s death is reason enough.

No one has addressed the elephant in the room, and I’d be dumb to think I’m not their bargaining chip to be used for revenge against my family. Cormac may be dead, but I don’t think that’s going to sate Domenico’s need to abolish my family.

I’d be a fool to think what happened between Domenico, Krishna, and I changed anything for the better.

I need a fail-safe plan that doesn’t end with me being exchanged or six feet underground with the rest of my family. The only problem is it took me years to plan the first one, and that was only a contingency in the event my uncle followed through with his promises to Admir Kovaçi in exchange for fifteen percent of his under-the-table profits.

Cormac Fitzgerald didn’t have the authority to sell me to Salvatore Santo or give me to Antonio Caputo. Liam O’Donovan had already brokered a deal with an Albanian devil for my hand in marriage six years ago.

Whatever innocence I still had was stolen when I was thirteen as my uncle watched with a gleam in his eyes and a glass of whiskey in his hand. I was the start of his sick entertainment when he figured out he could use those weaker than him against rich men like himself to fill his pockets with more money than he’ll ever be able to use in his lifetime.

Admir thought he was buying something he’d quickly become obsessed with, while my uncle was planting a seed in his organization that he could use to destroy them from the inside while watching it happen on the outside.

I set up protocols that if I were forced to marry the Albanian rapist, then several outspoken journalists trying to find dirt on Liam O’Donovan for years would be sent a file with proof of his wrongdoings. Murders he ordered. Money he exchanged for women and teenage girls. Drugs and guns he’s traded for said women and girls from other countries.

If I’d been less of a coward, I would have handed over the evidence I’d gathered from years of snooping through my uncle’s personal computer files before now. But even as I devised the plan, I wasn’t sure any of it would see the light of day or if I was setting up innocent people to be killed for what I forced upon them.

Either way, it’s a piss poor excuse and the fact that I held onto it for so long doesn’t make me any better than him. Maybe even worse and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.

If I have one that is.

CHAPTER 33

DOMENICO

Passing time between Ciera’s soft thighs and Krishna’s rock-solid body is enough of a drug to make a man forget he’s living through the most brutal grief of his life. They’re a balance I didn’t know I needed and I’m not sure I can keep either let alone both.

Together they aid me in showing the rest of the world that my father’s death didn’t break me when that’s exactly what it did.

I thought my heart was broken beyond repair the day my mother was buried, but watching my dad take his last breath, that organ exploded, leaving a hole in my chest so wide I don’t see how no one else sees it.

Sienna wasn’t the only one Dad taught how to mask their true self from. He did a pretty damn good job with me too. He taught me to use my anger to frighten other people into submission. And I am angry that I’m standing with my siblings, the Nikolayevs, Ciera, my captains, Giovanni, Matteo and his family, as well as the priest presiding over the service and watching my father’s black casket be lowered into the ground the same as I watched my mother’s pure white one all those years ago.

The problem is my anger is so overshadowed by agony that I don’t know how I’m standing rather than on my knees.

I would beg God, the devil, anyone, if it brought my father back to life. But that isn’t a possibility, so I’m left with how best to make those that are responsible pay in the most painful way imaginable.

I don’t blame Ciera even though she harbors their DNA inside her subtle little body but being my wife doesn’t make her one of us either. It doesn’t guarantee her my loyalty either.

That is earned.

My mother was murdered by a man that I share genetic makeup with. DNA doesn’t make a family any more real than someone adopted into one. If anything, adoption is wanted and something you have to fight to obtain.

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