I shudder and plaster a fake smile on. I like Arnie. But he’s been immersed in this world for so long that he doesn’t even realize anymore that death shouldn’t be treated as such a casual thing.

“Anyway, come back to my office,” Arnie says. He holds an arm out for me to take and leads me around the side of the carnival floor.

We walk through a curtain into a hallway. The walls are a pale blue-gray color with flat wooden doors. The office at the end of the hall is Arnie’s.

His desk is piled high with papers and the shelves behind him are stacked with manila folders and binders. I’m sure it would be a treasure trove should the police ever show up to raid him.

Lucky for Arnie, the police are some of his best clients.

“Sit, please.” He gestures towards a chair on one side of the desk, then walks around and slumps into his wheezy rolling chair on the other side. Once he’s settled, his expression turns serious. “Now, Aryana, tell me why you’re here. I’m a curious man and your voice on my phone was a surprise to me. It’s not drugs, is it? God, don’t let it be drugs. You’re a mother now. That baby needs you.”

I cut him off. “It’s not drugs, Arnie. You know what my mother did. I don’t touch the stuff.”

He presses his hands together in a silent prayer. Strange for a religious man to be in his line of work, but I suppose it takes all kinds. “That’s a blessing. What brings you here, then? You know old Arnie has anything you could need. I just had one of those Aryan Brotherhood, white supremacist bastards in here with his whore of a mistress, buying blood diamonds. That’s nasty business. Let’s see, what else, what else… I have weapons, but my supply isn’t up to my usual standards right now. A group just came through and cleared me out of the best stuff. Some kind of turf war, I think.”

“Who?”

“Darling, you know I don’t ask questions. And even if I did, I wouldn’t repeat the answers. Bad for business. Bad for my longevity, too.”

I laugh politely, but part of me is dying to know. I wonder if it could be Zotov or the Albanians. I wonder if it has anything to do with Dima.

“No, not weapons, either.” Though it could be smart to get a gun eventually. For protection. I push the thought away and focus. I’m trying to get out of this underworld, not deeper into it. “I need passports. Documentation. For me and my son. And two friends.”

His brows raise. “You want to disappear. A new identity. Leave the old Arya behind.”

I nod. “Something like that.”

If I’d been smart, I would have done this the moment I left Jorik. I would have gotten a new identity, fled the country, and started over.

But then I wouldn’t have Lukas.

And I wouldn’t know Dima.

My heart aches at the thought of Dima. At the thought of taking Lukas so far away from him. Of the two of them never knowing each other.

But I can’t have it all. I can’t keep my son safe and let Dima be in his life. Not like this. Not the way things are now. Most likely, not ever.

Arnie sighs, his lips flapping with the exhale. “That’s a shame. You’re a good girl. I don’t like that you’ll live your life on the run.”

“Better than being dead.”

“You’re right there,” he concedes. “Okay, fine. Yes, I’ll do it. It will take me a week, though. If you want good docs no one will question, I need a week.”

I could wait a week.

Honestly, it might take me a week to talk myself into actually going through with this anyway. Right now, I’m only half-convinced it’s a good idea. By the end of the week, hopefully I’ll be three-quarters convinced, at least.

“Okay, a week it is. How much will it run me?” I start to shuffle in my purse for the money I have left.

But Arnie shakes his head and reaches a huge, hairy hand out to rest lightly on my wrist. “No, sweetheart. Nothing.”

“Arnie, no. I don’t want to owe anyone anything. I won’t be here to make it square, remember?”

“We’re square,” he says, lowering his chin and looking in my eyes. “I remember when you came to me after you left that son of a bitch. You brought the engagement ring and asked me for anything I could give. I gave you some money, but it wasn’t enough. I conned you, darling, and in my old age, I’m trying to make amends.”

I’d almost forgotten about the ring. I was such a mess when I left Jorik’s that I hardly remember what I did for the next few weeks. Everything was a blur.

“That was a long time ago. Are you sure?”