Page 5 of Immaculate Corruption (Romanoff Bratva)

But the Dima who put a gun in my face and told me to run for my life is anything but that.

“It’s late, darling,” Ernestine says. “Get some sleep.”

She shuffles off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. June is already asleep. I’m glad. I don’t want either of them to see me cry.

It’s not just Dima that is tearing me apart from the inside out. It’s Brigitte; it’s Jorik; it’s a whole world of lies and violence I thought I escaped. So many skeletons in my closet now—Rose and Taras, too, of course. My mother as well. It’s getting awfully crowded in there.

But Dima is still the star of the show.

Lukas fusses in the bassinet shoved into the corner. I swipe tears off of my cheeks and hurry in to give him his bottle.

It’s a good reminder: no matter what, I have to do what’s best for Lukas. Always. He is my only priority, the only thing that matters.

My plan since the moment the pregnancy test showed positive was to raise Lukas on my own. I knew I could do it back then. I know I still can.

It’s harder now that I know Dima, of course. Now that I’m aware of what could have been.

But it doesn’t change the reality.

Dima’s heart will always belong to the Bratva, and mine will always belong to Lukas.

It can’t be any other way.

* * *

Once Lukas has finished his bottle, he goes back to sleep in the cradle. I let June and Ernestine have the bed and curl up on the filthy armchair with a spare blanket and pillow.

But sleep eludes me. The motel room is silent and still and yet my mind is racing a million miles an hour.

Where are we going?I ask silently. I’m doing the same thing I’ve been doing for weeks now: talking to Rose as if she can hear me. As if she can answer me. As if I didn’t watch her die.

I like to pretend she’s talking back, though. The swish of the fan, the hum of the A/C—when I’m half-asleep and as desperate as I am right now, those things can almost start to sound like a comforting voice answering me.

Somewhere safe,Rose says.

Where is that, though?

You’ll know it when you find it.

I laugh bitterly. I thought I was safe in my boring life in New York, long before Dima ever kicked in the clinic door and claimed my body at gunpoint. Long before I begged him to take me.

Harder. Touch me. Make me come.Those were the words that sealed my fate.

Even now, after all the shit that’s happened, I can’t bring myself to regret them.

I hear a noise in the bassinet. Lukas is starting to shift around again. I sit up hurriedly. I don’t want him to wake up June or Ernestine, so I scoop him up, blankets and all, and slip outside of the room.

It’s a chilly night. There’s a plastic chair just outside the door, facing the mostly-empty parking lot. I sink into it and hold Lukas close. He’s a little furnace, so his body heat keeps me warm.

We’re in a little town called Crestwood Village, somewhere in eastern New Jersey. We’ve mostly bounced around here the last couple of weeks. I pulled all the cash I had from my bank accounts and we’ve been trying to keep our heads low to avoid any unnecessary attention until I can figure out what to do next.

Not exactly a fun vacation.

My head is constantly whirring with paranoia.Is that person following me? Has that car matched our turns?

Even now, there’s a pair of headlights at the gas station across the street that have my attention. I eye them for a while as Lukas snoozes on my chest.

“It’s nothing, Arya,” I tell myself. “You’re just tired, that’s all. No one is following you. Dima has better things to do. He doesn’t care about you anymore.”

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