Page 96 of Gilded Cage (Kovalyov Bratva 1)

24

Esme

I wake up the next morning, heart still hammering.

It had taken me hours to fall asleep and I still wasn’t able to escape the dreams that plagued me.

“Nightmare” is the wrong word though.

More like a fucked-up fever dream. Part delicious, part horrifying.

I can still feel it all—everything that happened.

Artem’s brutish hands on my body, gentle despite their size and strength.

The way he pinned me to the wall, taken what he wanted despite my feeble, dishonest protests.

I wish I had been stronger.

I wish I had fought harder.

But my body wanted him—even if my mind and heart didn’t.

Liar.

I try and shake the self-made accusation from my head.

No, it’s not a lie—I definitely donotfucking want Artem Kovalyov.

I’m just… confused.

I’ve spent four months fantasizing about this man. Is it any wonder I’m taking some time to adjust to the reality of him?

Fantasies are powerful things, especially for women like me who’ve spent so long living with no other means of escape.

But I’m ashamed of how much I gave him last night. Far more than I should have.

My body was laid out for him like a gift, my desire for him pooling between my thighs and running down his fingers.

And those fingers… I didn’t think it was possible for a man to bring a woman to climax that way.

Yes, I’d seen it in movies and read about it in books, but it had always seemed like one of those scenes that were titillating more than realistic.

It felt like he had taken my body hostage. And when the orgasm had finished ripping its way through me, I was left breathless and scared and hungry for more.

And his face… that all-consuming, powerful, desirous expression he wore the entire time his fingers were inside me…

It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

But perhaps the most shocking thing about last night was the fact that something I said had actually gotten through to him.

“Is this what you like?”I’d asked. “Having a helpless woman at your disposal? Forcing yourself on a woman who can’t refuse?”

I saw his hunger extinguish instantly. The craving slipped off his face and left him bare and angry.

He had let me go and I had run, but even then, as I’d scampered back to my room, I wasn’t sure if safety was what I really wanted or if it was just what I wassupposedto want.

I sigh deeply and sit up. I’m still naked and reluctant to take a shower.

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