So, stop me, he’d said.

I can’t. Because I want to hurt you, too.

In my mind, I was saying it because of the Hell Princes.

Because Tank wants me to lure Noah to some location to be jumped, and they’ll most definitely hurt him.

But was there more to it?

I took the topless pictures and sent them to Noah because I wanted him to want me.

I wanted him to desire me the way he once had.

The idea of him looking at me with lust was better than him looking at me with hate.

And Noah nailed that one on the head: parental issues.

I need to be adored. It’s the reason I’ve spent years following my mom’s rules, manipulating people around me into practically worshipping me.

Because at least they aren’t being mean. At least they like me…

I think.

But this, a blowjob on the floor of the girl’s restroom, spoke to something different.

Something deeper.

Noah all but admitted he wants to hurt me, and I played right into his hand.

Maybe the hard truth is that I’ve been searching for the self-destruct button for years, and Noah has finally revealed it to me.

When Noah looked me in my eyes and told me he never wanted to see me again, that he hated me, I didn’t try to win him back.

For so long, he had been the only person holding me together. I knew if he roundly rejected me, I’d fall apart.

Now, he’s come back to finish the job.

I can’t help but feel like I deserve it.

“What about you, Penny?”

A hand taps me on the shoulder from behind. My eyes are fuzzy and sensitive to the light from being closed for so long, but I turn and see a girl with shaggy bangs and mussed hair looking at me.

“What about me?” I ask.

“Are you going to Spring Fling?”

There are two other girls sitting in the desks next to the girl with the bangs. I recognize one of them from an art class I took sophomore year.

The other is Andrea Nguyen. We went to elementary school together, but I haven’t spoken with her since then.

“Everybody goes, don’t they?”

“Everybody likeyougoes,” Andrea says with a nervous smile. “The rest of us aren’t guarantees.”

“You should go.”

Andrea’s unplucked brows raise. “Really?”