Page 62 of Cruel Elite (Princes of Ravenlake Academy 3)

When I pick up my guitar and start to play, it feels like the notes are being pulled out of me the way a magician pulls colored scarves out of their sleeves. An endless reservoir.

I’m not sure how long I’m down there. All I hear, all I sense, all I feel, is the music.

No Penny. No dad. Nothing.

It’s bliss.

I’m still playing when I hear a shifting by the door.

I startle and look up to find my mom watching me.

Her brown eyes are surprisingly clear. Clearer than I’ve seen in months, in fact.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I thought I heard you playing, and I wanted to see. It’s been so long.”

I lean the guitar against the chair next to me and rest my elbows on my knees. “I’m out of practice.”

“You’re wonderful. You always have been.” Mom winks at me and then her smile grows sad. “I only wish you hadn’t stopped playing for so long. I could tell you missed it.”

I want to point out that it’s surprising she noticed much of anything through her near-constant haze of alcohol.

But I bite my tongue. I don’t have any true desire to hurt my mom.

She has been hurt enough.

“I’ve missed a lot of things.”

I blurt that confession before I can stop myself. It’s a weird feeling—saying something both vulnerable and true. Not my usual style.

I cough, clear my throat, and add, “But it’s fine. I’m sure I’ll pick it up again in no time.”

“I’m sure you will. You have always been so talented.”

Mom smiles and turns away, almost heading back for the stairs before she stops and looks over her shoulder.

“Would you want to do something fun tonight?”

“Fun how?” I ask.

She thinks about it for a minute, and I can tell she doesn’t have a plan. “Maybe a movie? At that drive-in place we used to go to?”

With Dad.My mind fills in the gap my mom artfully avoided.

Dad had a BMW convertible he liked to roll the top down on so we could watch a movie under the stars with Chinese take-out and trash food from the concessions stand. It was a regular ritual in our family.

We haven’t been once without him.

There are a lot of things we haven’t done without my dad. Mostly because my mom was too far gone every night to stand up, let alone make mother-son plans.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try now.

I’m making strides to fix the shit in my life. Maybe taking a risk with my mom could fix a few things with her, too.

“Sure, yeah. Why not?”

Mom beams. She must’ve expected me to turn her down.

“Let me change into warmer clothes, and I’ll be ready in five.”

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