Page 113 of Cruel Elite (Princes of Ravenlake Academy 3)

I’m a block away from Penny’s house when I realize what I’ve done.

As though sleepwalking, I drove towards her house without realizing it.

Just before her house comes into view around the corner, I pull into a driveway, reverse, and speed away. I’m not this desperate.

My mom is working late, so she isn’t home when I get there. I go immediately down to the music room.

This room contains the only solace I’ve found from thoughts of Penny.

I haven’t been down here for a couple weeks, but when I grab my guitar and sit down, it feels like no time has passed at all.

A song pours out of me before I can even consider what to play, the music finding me rather than the other way around.

I’m halfway through the song when I realize the last time I played it.

When Penny came over.

She admitted listening through the door, so this is the song she heard. The song I played before we had sex on the floor, less than two feet from where I’m sitting.

Did she recognize the song?

Did she know what it meant?

No matter how hard I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to root out the part of me that cares about Penny.

She’s been under my skin like a tumor, growing all the while without my knowing until, one day, it’s debilitating.

I can’t eat, can’t sleep.

I can’t do anything without thinking about her.

And all I want is for it to end.

Now.

The song cuts off abruptly, and I rip the guitar from around my neck, tearing the strap my dad bought me.

It feels good, destroying it. Better than I thought.

I want more.

So, I grab the guitar like a bat and swing it against the chair.

It dents and splinters, shards of wood flying, but I don’t stop.

Another swing.

CRASH.

Another.

CRUNCH.

I don’t stop swinging until my chest is heaving and the guitar is a pile of rubble at my feet.

Destroyed—just like me.

I don’t feel better, but then again, I don’t know if I ever well.

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