Haley is moving towards me, blue eyes narrowed, jaw set in a hard line. It’s not exactly terrifying, but there is a small stirring deep in my stomach.
A flutter of acknowledgment that this fire inside of her is very, very hot.
When I don’t answer, she keeps yelling. “You said this was blackmail, right? That I forced you into this arrangement? That means you should be happy to see me go! You’ve been trying to bully me from day one, so why do you suddenly care whether or not I’m afraid of you? Why do you want to help?”
She makes a compelling argument, even if I hate to admit it.
I should be thrilled Haley wants to cut this lesson short. I want to get through these training sessions as quickly as possible and be done with her.
So why am I arguing with her about this?
When I don’t answer right away, Haley spins around to grab the stuff she’d forgotten about on the floor and then starts walking towards the door, shaking her head as she goes.
I should let her go. If she wants to be afraid of me, I should encourage it.
Except, as she passes by me, I can’t let her go.
Not like this.
I wrap my hand around her arm and hold her in place. She flinches and turns to me. Her jaw is still set, but the fear is alive in her eyes again.
It’s an ingrained response, a behavior learned after too many traumatic experiences with men. In a fight, it could be the deciding factor between her keeping a clear head and escaping or freezing up and becoming a victim.
And I can’t stand the fact that she has that response to me.
“I can’t let you leave because you’re looking at me like I might hit you at any second.” I let go of her arm, but neither of us moves. “I’m not a nice guy. I’m an asshole most of the time, and I’m a fighter. But I don’t hurt innocent people. I don’t have to like you. But that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you, either.”
Haley takes a deep breath, her chest heaving.
I realize all at once how close we are. Mere inches separate our bodies.
I can feel the heat rolling off her exposed skin.
I can smell the tinge of sweat on her body, and the floral notes of her deodorant.
This has all gotten out of control. I’m losing my handle on the situation, and I can’t afford that with Haley. I’ve already put myself at risk just associating with her.
People are buying the story that we’re sleeping together, but that doesn’t mean the lie should become reality. Entangling myself with Haley anymore would put my secrets in even more peril, and she isn’t worth that.
No one is.
I move to step back, but before I can, Haley’s warm fingers wrap around my wrist.
“I know you aren’t like John.” Her tongue darts out to swipe across her lips, and her eyes shift from the floor to my face, lashes brushes across her pink cheeks.
She is nervous again, but it doesn’t feel the same as before. This is a new kind of energy. An energy I recognize. One I strangely feel in the kick-drum rhythm of my own heart.
“I know you’re better than him, Caleb. You’re not a monster. You’re—”
Before Haley can even finishing getting the words out, I wrap my free hand around her waist, spin her body towards mine, and press her back against the wall.
The shoes that had been dangling from her fingers fall to the floor along with the rest of her belongings. I kick them aside so there is nothing between us.
She gasps, her warm breath washing over my face, but she doesn’t push me away. Her hand slips from my wrist to my shoulder and then tentatively curves around to my back, drawing me closer.
That is all the invitation I need.
I close the sliver of space left between us and crush my mouth over hers.