Page 32 of His Virgin Vessel

"Look, I'm not going to deny that there is something between us. After tonight, that would be pretty stupid. And I'm not going to deny that, perhaps in other circumstances, it might have proved to be something great. But these are the circumstances we have, and it's time to stop living in a dream world. We had our moment, and it was wonderful, but it's over. It's done. We have to stop pretending to ourselves that this could ever be anything. The best place for you is back with your family. Your dad obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't have done all he's done. He doesn't want you to wind up with someone like me, and he's absolutely right about that. You shouldn't. He and I agree on that. I know I shouldn't have shouted at you in the car, and I'm sorry for that. I still think you did the wrong thing, but I know you did what you did to protect me, and I am grateful to you. But the fact is, the immediate danger is gone now. I know you think you're protecting me by sticking around and that your father won't come for me if we're together, but I'm not so sure any more. I think maybe he's now more likely to come after me. After all, I've got his daughter. So, it's not just better for you that you go home, it's better for me too. What do you say?"

"No."

Given what a long and impassioned speech I had made, I felt like she could have said a little more than just no. "Why not?"

"Because most of what you just said is a total crock."

My temper flared again. I had tried to be diplomatic, but here was Corinne acting like a kid again. "Is that right?"

"You're damn right, it's right!" She snapped. "We are safer sticking together. Both of us."

"I'll take my chances. And while your dad may be angry, I think you'll come through it."

"We're all that we have! I have you, and you have me. We're the only ones we can trust or turn to."

I shook my head. "You have a family. A father, and a sister. And it's time you got back to them."

Corinne's eyes narrowed, and she spoke with more venom than I would have imagined her capable of. "If I go home now, when my father is done yelling at me, then he will sit me down and interrogate me for every detail of your life. He'll want to know every little thing, and you know what? I'll probably tell him. Because everybody cracks, eventually, and because he's my dad, and whatever you think, I do care about him very much. And because you're being a dick, so why shouldn't I tell him every damn thing I know?!"

I shrugged. "Then tell him. Sooner or later, some cop is going to catch up to me. Why not your dad? I had a good run. Thirteen years. But people in my profession don't retire. We end up behind bars, or on a mortician's slab. That's how it goes. Tell him."

"What about Joseph? What about Fiona?"

I stiffened at her words. "What about them?"

"Do you think my dad knows their names? Knows how involved they are in your organization? I bet he thinks Fiona is just a bar owner who buys from you and pays protection, but we both know she's much more than that. He'll ask me. And I'll tell him."

I'd never struck a woman in my life, and I reserved a special hatred for the men who did. But right at that moment, I was sorely tempted to slap Corinne right across her face for dragging my friends into this.

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm telling you why we need to stick together."

"You're telling me that you're going to throw good people under the bus, just so you can try to keep hold of me." I leaned in closer to her. "You think that's what I look for in a woman?"

"I just don't want to lose you!" As she blurted the words out, the hard facade of her face cracked, and she burst into tears. I took her in my arms and comforted her. Corinne Dugas was such a damn fine liar and actress that it could be hard to tell when you were talking to the girl herself. I had already seen her play the sexy, bad-girl temptress, and now I had seen the hard-as-nails bitch. Neither of them represented the real girl. I wondered what other characters she had in her repertoire. I also wondered at what age, and for what reason, she had decided that playing a part was the best way to get what she wanted. Maybe she hadn't had an upbringing that compared to mine, but life with the sheriff must have had its challenges.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed into my shirt.

"Don't worry," I chided.

"I wouldn't really have said anything about you. Or Fiona or Joseph. You believe me, don't you?"

"Of course I do." And I did. I had already witnessed what this slightly crazy girl was willing to do for me, and how much she was willing to sacrifice. No way was she giving me up to Brian Dugas, or to anyone else for that matter. If the sheriff did 'interrogate' her (which I thought pretty unlikely), she was far more likely to just lie her ass off. That was, after all, what she did best.

There was no couch in the little room, so I guided her to the bed and sat her down beside me as she continued to cling to me and cry. The initial outpouring had been more fear than anything else, but now that had subsided, and she cried softly and silently. Whichever way you looked at it, the girl had lost something tonight—a father, a family, the security she had taken for granted from the day she was born. Perhaps she had lost it knowingly, perhaps she had lost it for a reason, but that made it no less of a blow, and the reality of it was only now sinking in for her. What she was left with was me. Which, in my opinion, was a very sad state of affairs indeed, but it was one that she had consciously chosen. I was her choice. And to rob her of that choice, on a night when she had already lost so much, would be a very cruel thing to do, indeed.

I sighed. I wanted so much to do what was best for Corinne, but, for one reason or another, I kept on failing. I could have left her alone after Dugas let me out of jail, but instead I sought her out. I could have laid down the law to her at our picnic, but ended up laying something else instead. I could pretend that I was always motivated by her best interests, but when you looked back through our recent history, it started to look a lot more like I was obsessed with her and kept coming up with excuses to spend time in her company (she had accused me of something along those lines earlier). And now, when she needed me most, when I was all she had in the world, I was trying to get rid of her. How could I do such a thing?

But, then again, was I just using her obvious fragility and insecurity as another excuse to be with her? The feel of her small body nestled up to mine was suddenly foremost in my consciousness, and I became all too aware of her hands hugging me to her.

What was my rationale for keeping her here? Why wasn't I sending her back to her father?

The answers to those questions failed to appear, but I ignored that fact and decided to just believe that I was doing the best thing for Corinne. She could hardly be sent out alone in her current state. She needed to be with someone. Someone who loved her.

Perhaps I was just using the situation as an excuse to keep her with me. But it was clearly what we both wanted. How could that be wrong?

That question, I could answer. It was wrong because it could never be real. It could never last. It could be a night, a day, or even a week. But men like me and women like her ... No. I might have stronger feelings for her than any I had entertained for any woman I had ever known before, but those feelings could only go so far. I belonged to War Cry, to the road, to the life I had chosen.

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