Eli shrugged.
Nash glanced at Bella, who gave him a sympathetic tilt of her lips before saying, “Dinner is ready. Why don’t you both go wash your hands and I’ll plate it?”
Nash did as she said. Eli slid off the stool and did the same. By the time they were all seated at the table with a delicious-smelling meal of spaghetti with chunks of sausage and meatballs and a side of fresh garlic bread, Nash’s stomach was rumbling.
“This looks fantastic. Thank you for cooking.” Nash twisted some pasta around his fork.
“You’re welcome.”
Eli stirred his plain pasta on his plate absentmindedly.
“Eli has a game this weekend. Don’t you, honey?” Bella asked.
Eli nodded. “Yeah, on Saturday at three if it doesn’t rain.”
“I look forward to it.” Nash stuffed a bite of the food into his mouth. The rich, hearty sauce had a bit of spice to it, surprisingly.
Eli stared at his own plate, seemingly in his own world.
Nash cleared his throat. “I was going to schedule to get my boat taken out of the water in the next month or so. Gonna clean off the hull and then have it wrapped for the winter and stored. I’ll have my guy wrap yours, too, unless your grandpa already had someone in mind?”
“Whatever,” Eli answered without emotion. Usually when they talked boats his eyes lit up, but today they were dull and lifeless.
“Have you decided what to be for Halloween this year?” Nash asked, trying again.
“No.”
“What do you do during the winter?” Bella asked Nash before eating her own food.
“This and that. I help my brothers build bee equipment when they need it. Or deliver for the farm. Plow the snow and maintain the farm equipment. Whatever’s needed, really.”
“I can’t believe how many apples you guys get from that orchard. I feel like we’ve canned a thousand jars at this point.” Bella laughed, but it sounded forced. She kept flicking concerned glances at Eli.
“Yeah, Mama’s apple pie filling is a big seller in the city. We have one store that will buy up almost everything she makes—all but what she keeps for the farmers’ market. And us, of course.”
“Your farmland seems to have a bit of everything.”
“Boredom was certainly not an option growing up,” he agreed.
“I’m not hungry.” Eli stood, carrying his barely touched plate to the counter before heading upstairs.
“Did something happen at school today?” Nash asked quietly.
Bella sighed and shook her head, worry lines appearing on her forehead as sadness crept into her expression. “No, tomorrow is the first anniversary of Robert’s . . . passing.”
Oh. A wave of sympathy crashed over him. He understood grief all too well. He’d been a mess the first anniversary of Anastasia being missing. He’d gotten so drunk, he’d woken to a destroyed room.
Bella set her fork down, getting to her feet as she held on to the table, her growing belly making it awkward for her to scoot back. “I’m going to go check on him.”
Bella waddled away, her steps wider than they usually were. It was cute as hell.
Helplessness weighed down his shoulders. He wished he could make it better, have some of that light return to Eli’s eyes and erase the worry in Bella’s expression. But he was powerless. Grief never left—it only changed forms. This loss would be something they carried for the rest of their lives. Some days would be better, and others would be worse—like today. It wasn’t like you could forget the person you loved and move on in a world without them, existing after they’d become a part of you. No, you just got used to dealing with the gaping hole and the pain until one day it didn’t seem so big.
Nash got up from the table. He headed into his office, opened a drawer, and grabbed the brand-new composition notebook on top before picking out a pen and jogging upstairs. His heart thudded in his chest as he approached Eli’s cracked door.
This is stupid. It probably won’t work. But I have to try something. Eli’s pain had somehow become his own. He wouldn’t leave the boy to drown in it.
Nash knocked on the open door. Bella and Eli both looked up.