“I said we won’t talk about the dirty details. I mean in general. It’s like I’m getting a glimpse of a whole new brother I didn’t know existed.”
“You mean since his ex?”
Nova shook her head. “No, I mean ever. Before Ana, he was still a very stoic guy. He worked hard on the farm and then played hard, but Nash has always been a bit of a loner.”
So it wasn’t just because of his ex?
“He took care of us when my parents worked long hours on the farm. He was more like a second parent. I’m not sure he ever really got the time to be one of us kids.” Nova took a breath and sighed. “Then Ana came along. But she was just one more person for him to take care of.”
Isabella’s curiosity was piqued. “What do you mean?”
“Ana and Nash were up and down constantly. Ana had a way of self-sabotaging things. I think Nash’s loyalty scared her because she wasn’t used to it. Her childhood was no cup of tea. We were actually in a group home together for a little while, years ago, before the Emersons found me. That’s how I met her.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Some would say she loved drama, but when someone is raised in an environment with constant stress and a roller coaster of ups and downs, you get used to it. It becomes the norm for you. So, when you’re presented with something healthy and steady, it feels unsettling. You can do things, even subconsciously, to create that same rocky pattern. Ana and Nash were not healthy together. But I think he thought he could save her. I’m sure that’s why he still blames himself.”
Isabella’s heart broke for Nash and for Ana.
Nova plucked a piece of hay from her shirt and dropped it into the grass. “He loved her in his own way, but I don’t think she was the one for him long-term. They wanted different things out of life. I think he’s a much better fit with you.”
“Why do you think so?”
Nova smiled knowingly. “The way his eyes light up around you. The fact that he says more than two words and grunts at family dinner—hell, the fact that he’s showing up regularly now. You’re good for him.”
Her heart skipped a beat, warm hope bubbling up inside her like a balloon. She gave a half-hearted attempt at tamping it down. “Nash has made it clear he isn’t ready for anything resembling a relationship. We’re just friends.”
“You’re living together,” Nova sing-songed.
“Because of the baby. Once she’s a year old, I’ll start looking for a house of our own.”
Nova chuckled. “You sure? Because from where I’m sitting, I don’t see my overprotective, ultra-possessive big brother ever letting you, Eli, or that little girl out of his sight.”
Nova walked farther into the barn, shaking her head.
Was she right? Nash had made it clear he didn’t want a relationship, but maybe he meant right now? When they’d had sex the last time, it had felt different. He’d made love to her. And then he’d taken care of her, washed her the way a lover would. Still, the hesitation had been there, but he’d done it. And since then, he’d brushed his hand against hers and held it where Eli couldn’t see. Massaged her feet on the couch while they watched a movie. Nipped her ear in passing, or squeezed her ass when he went to grab a plate in the cupboard above her. Little touches that had her ready to combust at the end of the day. Though he hadn’t made a move to sleep with her again since Eli had been back. Maybe he thought she was still sore? Or this was strictly a Friday-night-while-her-son-was-away thing?
Maybe Nash just needed time and space. She would take this slow and see if things changed. Because if he did want to actually date her, if he saw a future with her and could love her, then Isabella would be all in. Nash was kind, and caring, and showed more through his actions than what he verbalized. He never seemed to say what he didn’t mean. That honesty was something she needed in a partner.
But Isabella wouldn’t settle for a man who didn’t love her with every fiber of his being. She’d been down that road, and it only led to heartache—hers. As much as she wanted to believe Nash could be the one, she needed to face the fact that it might not happen. She wouldn’t give herself false hope.
41
NASH
Nash opened the front door, the warmth of the home carrying a delicious savory smell that made his mouth water. He shrugged off his jacket, hanging it by the entrance, and toed off his boots, leaving them next to a pair of pink Converse and smaller Vans before he made his way into the house. All was quiet except for a few clanking sounds of dishes from the kitchen.
He scanned the couches where Eli was usually stationed with his iPad, but he wasn’t there. Just a myriad of colorful throw pillows and a few impossibly soft blankets that had shown up one day. Kind of like the few knickknacks and plants spaced around the room that wasn’t empty anymore. His house finally looked inhabited by more than a bachelor—like a family lived here.
He walked by the paintings he’d helped Bella hang last weekend and into the kitchen. She stood in front of the stove, stirring a pot. It was torture to be in the same house as her this week and not touch her like he truly wanted, settling for passing grazes to get enough of a fix to hold him over. His hands itched to wrap around her waist and kiss her neck, brushing his beard over it to make her shiver in his arms. But the young man sitting at the bar, staring at the marble countertop like it had angered him in some way, made him abandon those plans.
“Hey, guys.”
Bella jumped, spinning around with her hand on her heart. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Just got home.” Nash opened the fridge, grabbed an iced tea out, and shut it. A magnetic notepad with flowery designs stuck to the front and a list of groceries in cursive script on it was stuck there—just one more piece of decor that meshed their lives together. All these changes should have grated on his nerves, but they seemed to fit, like they’d always belonged here.
He turned to Eli. “How was your day, bud?”