Isabella stuffed another piece in her mouth, washing it down with more coffee before she replied, “What elephant?”
“Nash asking you to move in with him.”
Isabella sighed, her thumb playing with the seam of the cardboard cup. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why?”
“Well, you saw how freaked out he got the other night.” He’d looked disgusted after palming her belly. Am I that awful to touch? Why else would he have flinched away from her and run out the door?
“Besides, Eli needs something stable. Nash and I are not a couple, so I don’t think it would be fair to Nash to move in. How weird would it be to live with your baby’s mother and her child?” Technically, that was what she’d done with Robert.
Nova shrugged and picked up her tea. “Families look different for everyone. Who’s to say what’s weird or not? Personally, I think it should be taken on a case-by-case basis. What matters is what’s right for you.”
Sounds like what Phillip said. “Would it be easier in some respects? Absolutely. But it also brings up a lot more complications. Eli is already so attached to Nash. And it’s like Nash can barely stand to be near me—and that’s okay. I don’t need him. However . . . it just makes things awkward.”
Nova’s lips turned up into a mischievous smile. “Well, obviously at one point he got extremely close to you.”
Isabella rolled her eyes and laughed. “Well, that was before.” When he thought he’d never have to see me again. Apparently, I’m good enough for a fuck, but not more.
“Well, it’s totally up to you, and as your friend, I will support whatever you decide. But you should know that Nash asking you to move in with him is a huge deal. Like, I thought hell would freeze over before he let anyone in like this.”
“Asking me to share a living space isn’t letting me in, Nova. Trust me. I know the difference between playing house and really connecting with a person.”
Nova sat back in her chair, studying Isabella. “You don’t talk about your husband much. Is that what it was like with him? Playing house?”
Isabella bit her lip, Robert’s face flashing in her mind. “Robert and I were better off as friends. I got pregnant in college and he proposed before Eli was born. Both our parents thought it best because of the pregnancy. We connected like I hadn’t with any other guy, and I thought we had some sparks, but not . . .” Not even close to what Nash and I shared. “Not the lasting kind. No one here knows this but . . .” Could she trust Nova?
“I won’t tell a soul.” Nova crossed her finger over her heart in an X.
“We were filing for a divorce before he got sick.”
“Wow. That must have been so hard. And yet you stayed with him?”
Isabella nodded, her eyes getting misty. “He was still my best friend. And Eli deserved as much time with his dad as possible before . . . before he passed.”
Nova reached across the table, placing her hand on Isabella’s. “You are an amazing woman, Bella. I mean it. Your strength and kindness are inspiring.”
Isabella shook her head.
“Yes.” Nova’s voice was unyielding. “You are one of the strongest women I know, second to my mama. You deserve to find your happiness, and I truly believe you will.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. You know you’re welcome to stay with me even after you have the baby. You don’t have to leave.”
Isabella took a deep breath and exhaled. “I appreciate you saying so. But that isn’t fair to anyone. It is going to be chaos for a little while as we adjust. Eli is going to need me more, and if the baby is half as fussy as he was, well, I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”
“It sounds like you could use some help, then. I do know a certain man who’s made it clear he’s more than willing.” She held up her hand. “And I know you think it would be awkward, but consider it this way: Nash is the baby’s father. If anyone should lose sleep with a cranky baby, it’s him. He may seem all gruff and made of stone, but I saw him with Ariel as an infant. That girl turned him into mush and wrapped him around her finger from the moment he met her. And I’m sure it will be the same for your baby.”
Imagining Nash cupping a small baby in his giant arms sent enough heat to melt the polar ice caps swirling in her belly. There was something about a big brute being brought to his knees by such a vulnerable little human . . . Nash would be a good dad—at least, Nova seemed to think so. And Isabella’s gut agreed.
So what was she really afraid of? Yes, it would be an adjustment living with someone else, sharing his space. But she’d managed with Nova. And it would be helpful to have another adult in the home to help her with the baby so Eli didn’t feel like she was abandoning him. They would just be roommates.
“What is it that’s really holding you back?” Nova asked, reading her mind.
“I need more. I’ve been his neighbor for months now and barely know him more than I did that night. And almost everything I know that matters has come from what you’ve told me or by observing him with my son. He’s a good man. But I need to know he’ll let me in enough to at least be friends. I don’t want to have to walk on eggshells around him or worry he’ll take off when I need him. I’d rather not have him to rely on at all than do so and have him not be there when it matters.”
“You’re afraid of being hurt. I get that.”