To protect himself.
And I invited him to LA., and we’d just made love.
Shit.
Shit.
SHIT.
“Levi, I…” I thought about laying it on him, but once I spoke the words, there was no taking it back. What would it mean for our futures if I told him I was falling for him too? I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. “I need a minute.”
“Sure, of course,” Levi said, moving away and untangling our bodies from each other. “I think I might get some air.”
“Okay…” I wanted to tell him not to leave the room, but I knew we both needed to catch our breath. We both needed to think about what this meant for us.
Levi stepped out of the room, and I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I let the warm water wash over me as I closed my eyes and thought about what Levi had just told me.
He had been vulnerable with me.
He had told me how he was feeling.
And I shut it down.
Tears welled in my eyes. I felt bad for how I had handled, well, everything. This was my mess. I should have kept my distance. Not for myself, but for Levi’s sake. He deserved better than this.
He deserved better than me.
I needed to give him his space unless I was willing to commit to him, 100%, and since I couldn’t do that…
I stayed in the shower for what felt like an eternity, and I thought Levi might have come back at some point. I got out and dried off, only to find the room empty still.
He had taken his phone, so I sent him a message.
I have to get up early, so I’m going to bed. Please don’t worry about waking me. Take all the time you need.
After a second thought, I sent another text.
I’m sorry
I turned off the lights and pulled the blanket up to my chin. I kept checking my phone, hoping to hear something…anything.
Nothing.
I reached over to the other side of the bed. It felt so empty and cold without Levi next to me.
A feeling I knew I would have to get used to.
I tossed and turned all night, hoping every sound was Levi coming back to the room, but I never did hear him come back in. I eventually fell asleep close to dawn and my alarm went off two hours later.
I sat up, and at first, I assumed Levi hadn’t returned to the room since the bed was empty beside me, but as I made my way to the bathroom, I found him curled up on the couch. He seemed to be asleep, so I didn’t wake him.
I got ready for my interview as quietly as possible and left.
Chapter 16
Levi
I heard her leave.