Page 59 of In Just One Day

‘I think we just need to make sure she knows we’re here. If she wants to talk or not talk, whatever. I’m not sure we can force her to face up to the accident itself if she’s not ready.’ Susie sighed. ‘Do you think we should mention the court thing to Flora, so she knows we’re aware?’

‘No, I don’t think so. Unless she brings it up, of course. Maybe when the trial starts, we should let her know we can do whatever she needs to help. Poor thing.’ Tilda closed her eyes, shaking her head. ‘She obviously had a lovely time in Venice but the sadness in her eyes when I saw her today, Susie – it’s heartbreaking.’

‘That’s exactly what it is.’

‘We’ve just got to be there for her.’

‘And we will be. I was thinking, shall we all go to the cinema next week? I’ll see if I can find something uplifting for us to watch.’

‘That’s a brilliant idea. And let’s do another walk soon too, when we can.’ Tilda sighed again. ‘You know, I wish I’d known Billy better. I met him a few times and he really was larger than life. I know that sounds like a cliché but it’s the only way to describe him. Flora absolutely adored him. I think they’d always been close, probably because it was just the two of them. Fuck, it’s such a bloody waste.’ She wiped her eyes.

Susie sat on one of the uncomfortable bar stools Julian had insisted upon, her wine glass clattering gently on the spotless marble counter on the kitchen island as she put it down. ‘I wish I’d known him too. Sounds like he knew how to live life properly.’

‘Here’s to doing that.’ Tilda raised her glass.

Susie did the same. ‘Speak tomorrow?’

‘Speak tomorrow.’

* * *

The noise of the television woke Denise with a start. She sat up in her chair, realised she must have fallen asleep where she was. Slowly, she reached forward to pick up the remote control from the low table in front of her. Her body felt heavy, her mind a muddle. She turned the television off and the flat fell silent. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was well after midnight.

She made her way to the kitchen, spotting a strip of yellow light seeping out from the bottom of Stephen’s bedroom door. She listened for a moment, trying to hear if he was still awake. She knocked softly. ‘Stephen?’

There was no answer. She waited a few seconds before knocking again, this time a little louder. His voice came back, muffled.

‘Can I come in, love?’

‘If you want.’

Denise opened the door. Stephen sat on his bed, staring at his phone in his hand. He didn’t even look up at her. He was pale and drawn, his eyes dark. Denise had tried everything she could think of to try to encourage him out of his room but he’d refused to see or speak to any of his friends since he’d been charged. Whenever she tried to talk to him about the accident, or about what might happen at court, he shut the conversation down.

He’d pleaded not guilty to the charge of death by careless driving as instructed by his lawyer, but Stephen was so ashamed of what he’d done, he wished he’d pleaded guilty. In his darkest moments, he wished he’d been the one that had been killed.

‘Come on, it’s late. You need to try and get some sleep.’ Denise smiled at him, trying not to show the fear in her eyes. She was scared of what lay ahead for him, knowing there was nothing she could do to change it. His fate was in the hands of others now. ‘Maybe tomorrow we can go for a walk, get some air in those lungs of yours.’

‘I’m not leaving here, Mum.’ Stephen turned away from her onto his side, facing the wall. ‘Not until I have to.’

She stared at his back for a moment, his shoulders hunched. She saw them shake but there was no sound.

Denise searched for something to say.

‘Please leave me alone, Mum.’ His voice trembled.

‘But—’

‘I said, GO!’

Denise closed the door as softly as she could, then held her hands to her mouth so he wouldn’t hear her sob. Slowly, she walked away, resolving to try again in the morning.

26

Kate arrived the next morning on the dot of ten o’clock. Since returning from the school run Flora had spent the next hour clearing up, or in other words hiding piles of washing and picking up stuff off the floor. It wasn’t that she was particularly house-proud, but her mother had a way of scanning a room that always made Flora feel like she lived in complete chaos.

She’d managed to get the coffee on and was two cups in when Kate walked through the door.

‘Hel-lo-oh!’ Kate called as she came through the door.

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