Page 23 of The Princess and the Nerd

Chapter 13

Willow

Robbie gasps.“Are you kidding? He reallyhas never…”

“Nope. His aunt said it and he confirmed it.”

“Oh my gosh,” Dez says in amazement.

“But that can’t be right,” Robbie responds. “She’s an Indian auntie, she wouldn’t know everything that hottie gets up to. I’m sure he has secrets.”

“Well, whatever his secrets may be… he has definitely never done it.”

“Never?” Robbie whispers.

“For real?” Dez asks. “There’s no way.”

“But… wasn’t he curious?” Robbie asks. “I mean, I’m not even into that sort of thing, but I’m curious. At least… just a little taste.”

“You would have to taste it,” Dez agrees. “I would also be curious. If it was right there in front of me like that… it would be kind of hard to resist. Just feeling the warmth…”

“I would. I mean, why would you eat something called a toaster pastry and never put it in the toaster?” I demand.

We all sit there in silence, in the dead kitchen, contemplating this.

“Girl,” Dez says. “This is the man criticizing your cooking? He wouldn’t know an apple strudel if it smacked him right in his little noodle.”

“It’s not that little,” I tell them glumly.

Rob and Dez look at each other in shock and horror, then they squeal.

“Is that why he took the review down?” Dez asks. “Did you fuck him to save our business, Will?”

“That’s the most heroic thing anyone has ever done for me,” Robbie says, moving over to wrap his arms around me tightly. He buries his face in my shoulder, sobbing. “I’m so proud. If I had known that bleaching your hair would lead to this new and improved badass-bitch who sleeps with our critics for better reviews, I would have dunked your head in the bathtub a long time ago.”

“Relax, guys,” I say with a sigh. “I didn’t sleep with him. I did kiss him, but it was an accident. And the moment I realized what I was doing, I stopped and ran away.”

“Why?” Robbie asks brokenly. “If you had fucked him, he would have surely written us agoodreview. Go back there right now, and jump on that boy’s dick, Miss Wintergreen!”

“Look, I invited him to my brother’s wedding, to taste our catering. I told them about it, and the aunties said that Indian people can’t resist a good wedding—so I invited all of them.”

“Is Spruce going to be okay with that?” Robbie asks.

“Sure, he is. You know he only hired us to help the business, so I’m sure he’ll agree to anything that helps me out. As long as I continue to provide unlimited, on-call babysitting for his twins. Which is fine, because I doubt I’ll ever have a personal life of my own.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Dez says softly. “There may be some kind of spark going on between you and Mr. Nerdy Asshole over there.”

“Sparks cause fires that burn down kitchens,” I inform them both. “All I need is for him to write a good review.”

“That’s not all she needs,” Robbie whispers. “Our girl deserves a Hard Deep dicking down.”

“No,” I tell him, pointing a finger in his face. “No. Just stop.”

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