Page 44 of Words of Love

“Requested permission?”

“Not in a dorky way, but he should have asked politely if he could come over. Then he should have asked if she’d eaten dinner, and again if she said no, he should have asked if he could bring something over.”

“Don’t you meanrequested permission?”

She scowled and poked him in the arm. “I don’t mean you should have written this exact scenario. My point is that John should have taken her thoughts and feelings into account instead of just assuming he knew what she wanted…which, of course, was totally wrong. He should have gone to her house with a special takeout dinner…maybe Indian food since that’s her favorite…and a bottle of wine. Then he should have noticed something about her, like that she looked tired.”

“Yeah, telling a woman she looks tired goes over real well.”

“He should have said it in a loving tone while rubbing her shoulders, which would have been a prelude to a full massage after the Indian food and the wine.”

“Sounds like a lot of work for a man who just narrowly escaped a gunfight after infiltrating the mob.”

“Well, it might’ve gotten him a lot closer to getting laid than ordering Patricia to meet him at O’Grady’s.” With a huff, she slapped the tablet on the table and pushed her chair back. “That seems to be all he wants from her anyway.”

“Why the hell would you think that?”

“Because he doesn’tconsider her needs, Sam.” Brooke spread her arms out, a flush of indignation rising to her cheeks. “He only thinks about himself and how she can fit into his life, not how their lives can fit together. Gutting a trout on their second date? They’re supposed to be One True Loves, not fishing buddies.”

He barely smothered a groan. Brooke’s eyes flashed.

“I know you don’t believe true love exists, but for the sake of your novel, you have got topretend that it does,” she snapped. “What about their first kiss? You didn’t even describe it.”

“What’s to describe?” he retorted. “It’s a kiss.”

“Readers want to know how itfeels.”

“It feels like a kiss.”

“Do you see what your problem is here?” Brooke paced to the blanket fort and whirled back around, her arms still outstretched. “The romance isn’t working because you’re failing to show readers what it feels like for both John and Patricia to be attracted to each other and eventually fall in love.”

She paused and clucked her tongue. “Honestly, you keep going like this and no one is going to understand why they get married. Your readers should want tobeeither John or Patricia so they can experience all the intense emotions of lust and love. Obviously you have the talent to immerse your readers in the experience of John’s world, so you just need to do that with his and Patricia’s love story. That means you need to describe their feelings and senses.”

Though he could see her point, he doubted his ability to do any of that well. He’d never thought he knew everything there was to know about writing, but he did know what he wasgoodat writing. Feelings and senses weren’t on the list.

“Okay, listen.” With an impatient sigh, Brooke sifted through her stack of romance novels and plucked out a well-worn paperback with a half-naked couple embracing on the cover. “This is one of my all-time favorite romances. Here’s the couple’s first kiss.”

She cleared her throat and read,“He tangled his other hand in her hair and cupped the back of her neck. His grip was certain, gentle, as if he were securing her rather than holding her in place. Then he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers.

“A slow, billowing sensation filled her, like molten lava flowing through her veins. Her body came alive, every nerve ending lighting up. Clouds spun in the middle of her soul.

He moved his mouth with deliberate ease over hers, urging her lips apart so he could dip his tongue inside. Her pleasure blossomed outward, filling her veins with heat. He slid his tongue over hers, nibbled at her bottom lip, and licked the corners of her mouth. It was a delicious, prolonged seduction, carrying the promise of so much more. Her whole body swayed toward him as she—”

Brooke stopped abruptly and rubbed her neck. Her cheeks were still flushed. Sam was starting to feel a little warm himself. And he experienced a stab of discomfort over how badly he wanted her to keep reading.

“Do you see what I mean?” She set the book down. “He’s kissing her, but it’s also about what she’sfeeling.”

Sam shifted and scratched his head. “Yeah, but her feelings don’t make sense. Molten lava? Clouds spinning in her soul? What does that even mean?”

“Oh my god, Mr. Bestselling Author.” Brooke pressed her fingers to her temples. “It’s ametaphor. Hasn’t a kiss ever made you feel like you were lighting up? Like stars were whirling all around you? Likethe earth was moving?”

Before he could respond—with an emphatic“No”—Brooke held up her hand. “Don’t answer that. Given that you don’t appear to have a romantic bone in your body, you wouldn’t recognize that kind of emotion if it bonked you over the head. When you kiss, you’re probably busy plotting how to get to second base. No offense.”

He frowned. “I’m offended.”

Her lips twitched. “Why, because I speak the truth?”

“Just because a romance subplot is giving me trouble doesn’t mean I’m a selfish bastard about kissing. I take the lead, yeah, but I’m not always trying to get a woman’s clothes off. Not at first, anyway. Not all the time,” he added.

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