Page 61 of Love Abandoned

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Enjoyed no sooner but despisèd straight,

Past reason hunted; and, no sooner had

Past reason hated as a swallowed bait

On purpose laid to make the taker mad;

Mad in pursuit and in possession so,

Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;

A bliss in proof and proved, a very woe.

—Shakespeare, “Sonnet 129”

Elizabeth stretched languidlyand opened her eyes. She knew instantly Richard was not in the room. She wished she were not such a sound sleeper, as she would have enjoyed picking up where they’d left off. She clutched the blanket to her chest and stared at the ceiling, grinning like a fool, picturing the delicious wickedness that had occurred in the very spot she lay. It had been a sublime night, the first of many to come. She lay there planning on what she would do to Richard the next time she got him undressed.

The sun was well risen when she awoke again, the light tap on the door between the sitting room and her bedroom pulling her from sleep. She hoped it was Richard, but in case it was not, she ensured she was well covered by the blanket before bidding entry. Lucy poked her head in, and Elizabeth swallowed her disappointment.

“Lord Thornwood has ordered some chocolate and bread,” Lucy said. “Would you like it in your room or out here, my lady?”

Lucy did an excellent job of not reacting to Elizabeth’s state of undress, although she was certain the woman was biting back a smile. Her maid had not been unaware of the lonely state of her marriage bed nor of her unhappiness about it.

“I best not have it anywhere until I am dressed in something more elegant than this,” Elizabeth said, glancing at the blanket and back at Lucy. She grinned, and Lucy’s smile broke through in response. Elizabeth stood, pulling the blanket around her, and made her way awkwardly to her bedroom. She looked around the room, hoping soon she could once again think of it as their bedroom.

Later, after she’d enjoyed her small breakfast, she bathed and dressed for church. From the top of the stairwell, she could see Richard pacing in the entranceway. He always behaved as a caged tiger when he was waiting. She glanced at the longcase clock. She was only a quarter of an hour late. Not too bad considering the state she’d been in.

He walked out of sight, and she could hear his low voice as she descended the stairs.

“Mama!” William said excitedly, running to her side. “Papa says I can sit with you today in the big box!”

“Is that right, dearest?” she said, leaning down and kissing his cheek before glancing up and catching Richard staring at her. “What a lovely treat,” she said, straightening, holding his gaze. She could not read his expression at all, yet familiar unease rippled through her. A feeling she immediately dismissed. Their reunion was simply so fresh and new, and it would take some time to adjust.

“Yes,” William said, taking her hand. “Sebastian has to go with Hannah and the others, but I have proven myself to be very grown-up, haven’t I, Papa?”

Richard cleared his throat. “Indeed you have, William. Hastings, Lady Thornwood’s wrap, please.”

William chattered happily as they piled into the carriage, sitting beside her while Richard took the bench opposite and stared out the window. Was he embarrassed about last night? Impossible. Could it be, with his son by his side, any show of their newfound closeness made him uncomfortable? His mood was far too solemn, but they were off to church, not a ball.

Greetings and conversation, when they arrived at the church, distracted her from her worry. They finally managed to get seated in their box pew, William between them, shortly before the vicar appeared. When he ascended to the pulpit and bellowed his sermon, she tried to focus, but his relentless speech on the value of virtue crawled under her skin. Was her seduction last night immoral? But she’d led a virtuous life, waiting for Richard to return to her, and where had it gotten her? Rambling around a lonely house was where. She glanced over at Richard, his jaw rigid as he stared up at the vicar. She could not regret coercing him back to her bed. Surely it was not a sin to want her husband?

Richard remained unapproachable, so she continued her internal debate on the ride back to the town house. Even William was subdued. It all seemed particularly grave in contrast to the joyous freedom that had lightened the night. This was not how she’d imagined the day would go. She sighed heavily, and Richard looked at her, a myriad of emotions moving so quickly across his face she could not name them. Except for the final resting expression. She feared it was regret. Or worse, pity. Had that been what last night had been to him?

“A stroll in the park on this sunny day?” he asked quietly.

Her heart beat rapidly, all dark dissipating immediately. She’d been overreacting. The result of too many hours lost and alone. She was simply having a difficult time believing she had finally found her way. That was what all this uncertainty was about. “That would be lovely.”

“But, Papa, you said—”

“Manners, young William, manners,” Richard chided. “I did, and I am a man of my word, as you must always be.”

William nodded solemnly, and Richard looked at her. “I promised him I’d take him out on his pony. His yet to be named pony,” he said, pointedly staring at William before returning to his attention to her. “It will be a family outing. I will lead William. Hannah can follow with the pram. I’m sure Sebastian could do with some air as well.”

“Of course,” Elizabeth said and turned to look out the window.

Had she not dreamed they would once again be a functioning family? Why did her body vibrate with frustration? No, not frustration. Something else. It was on high alert as though it was trying to warn her. Of what, she wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. Not during their promenade when he was every bit the attentive father as William rode proudly alongside. Nor during their dinner, where he was the consummate gentleman making polite conversation. And certainly not when Richard left her with a chaste peck on the cheek at her bedroom door before going to his.

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