Page 95 of Love Abandoned

He took her hands in his. “Please forgive my behavior. My thoughtlessness. My neglectfulness.”

He kissed her hands, holding them tightly, looking directly into her eyes.

“When you delivered William, I believed our lives would never be happier or richer. Until you grew round with Sebastian, and I knew we were going to fill this old manor with children. Then Dr. Redding sent you to your bed in your last month, insisting you not get out of it for more than minutes at a time. And despite my love for William, I knew that without you, my world would be a dark place. I fully accepted the new baby would be the last one we’d have. I was quite reconciled to it. What I hadn’t anticipated, had not prepared myself for, was Sebastian’s birth.”

“But how could you, when—”

“Hush,” Richard said, pressing a finger to her lips. “Let me finish.”

She nodded, her heart pounding, her stomach roiling as his eyes darkened with emotion and glazed with tears.

“The night Sebastian arrived, we almost lost you. Sophia held me that night, and we both cried. We were sure you would be gone by morning. But you hung on.” He cupped her cheek. “You are such a fighter, dearest. I don’t know if you battled for me or the boys, but I am so grateful you did not give up.”

Elizabeth turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand, then covered it with her own, her eyes burning with tears.

“But you kept on bleeding. By the next evening, you were fading. Dr. Redding didn’t think you’d make the night. I curled in behind you and held you close as your life force slowly ebbed, your heart becoming fainter beneath my hands. I wanted to go with you.”

He choked and cleared his throat, and Elizabeth swiped a tear from his cheek as her own slowly shed.

“I swore,” he continued, his voice rough with emotion, “that should you live, I would do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

His words began to sink in, and Elizabeth shook her head slowly. “You don’t come to my bed because…?”

“Because I am not just a fool. I am a coward. A weak-willed one at that. I am petrified to make love to you for fear it will put you in jeopardy again. Yet when I am near you, it is all I want to do.”

She had no memory of those days, but it all became so obvious to her—his distance, his absence, this constant push and pull. Her heart soared, and she swept her tears away. These were the words she had longed to hear.

“Richard, my love…” She could not finish. He had laid bare his soul, and the longed-for revelation was a bubbling brook of angst and happiness, regret and joy. It was freeing.

“Elizabeth, you are my life.”

She tugged him close, pressing her nose against his cheek and tracing a path to his ear. “I love you, Richard Arlington, Earl of Thornwood, father to my children and keeper of my heart.” She continued a leisurely path along his neck and nestled close to his chest, relishing his scent. Elizabeth looked up at him. “I love you,” she repeated.

“I love you. Only you. It has only ever been you.” He ran his thumb down her cheek. “I burn to make love to you, but…”

Elizabeth straightened abruptly. “Do you think Sophia knew it was you with me at the masquerade?”

“I know it for a fact. She provided my costume. I am convinced she orchestrated the nabbing of the culprit at her place to manipulate it so that we would come together.” His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

Elizabeth laughed, hopped off the bed, and walked into her dressing room. Now she understood what Sophia meant when she’d said she would keep her safe. How could she have possibly known about Richard’s fears? She’d have to ask her next time she saw her. Elizabeth returned to the bedroom and dropped the package on the bed.

“Sophia has been schooling me, and now I know why.”

Richard opened the package and stared at the contents for a minute. Finally, he looked at her and grinned.

“I’m not entirely certain what to do,” Elizabeth said, pulling her nightgown over her head, pleased with both her boldness and the look on Richard’s face.

“Me either,” he said, “but I believe I will enjoy figuring it out.”

Elizabeth laughed, her newfound power and her love for Richard making her feel attractive and invincible.

Afterward, they lay together, his weight a blanket of comfort. She was certain they had become one, that they’d melted one into each other and become a singular entity. When he rolled off her body, she whimpered at the loss. He chuckled that wonderful laugh of his—oh, how she’d missed it—and he rolled onto his side. He pulled her closer. Facing each other, his leg wrapped around her thigh, he kissed her temple.

“I never knew…” She didn’t know how to explain it. The energetic lovemaking of their early days had given over to a comfortable release before their separation. But this had reached a height she’d not been privy to before, like youthful enthusiasm colliding with familiarity and creating a whole new experience.

“Neither did I, my love. Neither did I.” He traced her jawline with his finger.

“What will we tell the children?” she asked jokingly, although there was some truth to her worry. The boys weren’t used to their parents spending time together.

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