He shrugged one heavy shoulder. "Souls are not meant to be trapped in objects. Not human souls, nor angels, nor demons. Especially not for hundreds of years."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "If I'm to believe Luca's story, you're the one that trapped her there, and—wait, hundreds of years?"
Julian's expression was unreadable. "Four hundred and ninety-four."
"Four hundred and—wait." My chest hurt and it was suddenly hard to breathe. "You're trying to tell me that…Luca—Abigor—whoever he is—and you—you're hundreds of years old…and I…this is real—I have a fucking demon trapped inside me, and she's trying to kill me…and—I—" I went over a waterfall and I can't even remember it.
"Breathe. River, breathe."
Julian dropped to one knee in front of me, dark worried eyes boring into mine, and I tried to do as he said, but my breaths were coming in short, harsh gasps. My heart was thundering in my ears, and it was all too much, more than I could handle.
Strong hands wrapped around mine, firm and solid. "Breathe, River. Slowly. Look at me."
I did, panting, straining for breath. He bent his head close to mine. His face was severe, fine lines around his eyes, a faint scar tracing through one cheek and disappearing into the short hair of his beard. His dark eyes were steady, reassuring. "I'm here. You're okay."
I'm here.
I latched onto the mantra.
I'm here.
I'm still here.
Slowly, my breathing eased. My heartbeat slowed.
Julian's face was still close, his eyes searching mine. I wondered what he could see in my red gaze.
"Thank you," I whispered, when I thought I had myself under control again.
He released my hands, sat back.
"You're…not a demon," I said hesitantly, not sure if I was asking a question.
A corner of his mouth lifted, the first semblance of a smile I'd seen from him. "No," he said. "Not an angel, either. Just a human."
My brow furrowed. "But you said…”
"Yes. I know. It's complicated."
"Are you…immortal?" The word felt strange on my tongue, like a word in a language I'd never spoken before.
I half expected him to laugh, but he only continued to watch me with those unreadable eyes. "I don't know."
I didn't know what to say to that. So many questions swirled within me—how could a person not know if they were immortal? Why had Luca brought us here? What was going to happen to me? How could any of this be real?—but I was too exhausted to try to make sense of them.
"Where are Luca and Theo?" I finally managed.
"Back at the cabin, hopefully. Where I told them to stay when you took off into the woods."
"How did you know where I was going?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I didn't. I followed. I'm a good tracker, and I know these mountains." Abruptly, he rose, brushing mud from the knees of his waterlogged pants. "Can you walk?"
I took stock. I was sore, and in the daylight I would likely find bruises I didn't know I had, and my lungs hurt, but I'd stopped shivering. "I think so. Is it far?"
"Yes."
I stood as well, unwrapping his shirt from my shoulders and offering it to him.