Page 82 of Craving the Player

Chapter Thirty-Five

BRADEN

“There’sstill time to stay here,” Imutter, dropping anewspaper-covered plate into asmall moving box.

Dad’sscowl is immediate as he rolls his eyes and continues folding fuzzy pink towels before packing them away neatly. “You don’thave to help me. Tyler and Gracie could have.”

“And miss out on this amazing bonding time? Yeah right,” Isay mockingly.

My attitude has only gotten worse the longer I’ve been at my fathers house, but as much as I’mdying to get the hell out of here and drown my feelings in whiskey, Iwould regret not spending every chance Ihave left with him. God knows Ionly have afew chances left before he runs away with his child bride.

“Attitude like yours is meant for ateenager, Braden. Not agrown-ass man.”

“Don’tlecture me, Dad.” My shoulders tense and Iplace the glass I’mholding inside the box harder than Iprobably should have. Lucky for me, it doesn’tbreak.

“If you want to act like akid then I’mgoing to treat you like one.” He lifts ashoulder, sending me afleeting look. “Can’tyou just drop it for afew hours?”

“Yeah,” Igrumble, leaving it at that. Idon’thave anything else to add. If he wants me to pretend that I’mokay with him leaving then he’sbeing an even bigger idiot than usual. I’ll never be okay with this.

“Do you want to talk about how you’re feeling? Will that help? I’mready to do just about anything so we can move forward. This is exhausting, Son,” he sighs, shoulders sagging in defeat. “You don’thave to like the idea, but Iwould appreciate it if you would just accept it and stop being such an ass about it so we can all move on. Lana isn’tgoing anywhere.”

“Right,” Ichortle.

“What?” he asks, brows lifted with an unspoken warning. “Spit it out.”

Ilean forward on the leather couch and grip my knees, meeting his pointed look with my own. “You expect me to believe that this marriage will be any different than your last one? You and Mom couldn’teven make yours work and you had alittle kid to think about. Not like that made adifference. You both dragged me into the middle of your gigantic shit storm instead of making it work.”

The shock that crosses my dad’sface nearly makes me proud, but Ishrug away the feeling before it has achance to fester.

“We never meant to drag you into anything,” he whispers, eyes dropping to his sock-covered feet.

“Well, you did. Over and over again until Mom took off to live to travel the fucking world. Neither of you cared enough to hide your problems from me, and now you want me to believe that you’ll be able to actually keep this one around?” Iignore the hurt in his eyes and continue, the built-up feelings crashing into me like awave that Ican’thold back. “Ilove you, Dad, but you both fucked up. And you fucked me up.”

“If this is about Sierra, there’sstill ti—”

“No, there’snot still time!” I’mshouting now, my skin burning under my fingertips when Irub my jaw and stand up. “She’sgone and it’syour fault! If my idea of love hadn’tbeen so fucked up, maybe Iwouldn’thave let her leave me. Maybe Icould have said it back instead of letting my fear destroy us! You should have seen her face. I can't stop seeing it."

“Braden,” he chokes out, my name sounding muffled. “We never meant for you to carry our problems with you. If Icould go back and change how we acted, Iwould have. You didn’tdeserve to witness that. Especially not at such ayoung age.”

“Well, there is no going back. It’stoo late. It’stoo late for everything.”

My hands slide in my hair, yanking on it in an attempt to distract myself from the burning in my chest, afeeling Inever used to be used to, but have quickly grown to hate. I’ve been sucking these words in for years, way too many years. They keep sliding out like my tongue is covered in soap, and as hard as Itry to feel guilty for saying them, I’mnot.

“Your mom and Iweren’tmeant to be together, Braden. We were just too young and naive to realize that. We ignored the red flags, and we paid the price—you paid the price. That doesn’tmean that you and Sierra would have made the same mistakes we did. You can’tlet that ruin your happiness,” he says gently, standing in front of me now, sunken eyes dull and glossy.

“The way you light up when you see each other, and grin until your cheeks hurt, that’show you know you have something special. Please don’tgive that up. Especially not because of your mother and I,” he continues.

Isqueeze my eyes shut and sigh heavily. “Ilove her, Dad. Ilove her more than Ithought Icould love anything or anyone and Ihate it. Ifucking hate knowing that to be with her, Ihave to give her the power to hurt me. How is that fair? How am Isupposed to want to do that?”

“Nobody wants to give somebody else power over them. But we do it because we would rather have them for ashort time than never at all. That’swhat you want, isn’tit? To at least have the chance at real happiness with her? Even if it doesn’tlast forever?”

Is that what Iwant? Are afew more weeks, months, or even years with her worth the chance of it crashing down on top of us? By the way my stomach lurches as Iask myself that question, Ithink Iknow the answer already.

“What if she doesn’twant me anymore? Iwouldn’teven be able to leave here for afew weeks. There’stoo much to do.” Iswallow, nerves starting to coat my skin.

“Idon’tthink you have to worry about that,” he chuckles. “As far as arrangements go, Iknow that Tyler wouldn’tmind helping you. He acts like he owns the gym anyway. I’msure he would love to be the real one in charge for achange. You can figure out the rest after you go tell her how you feel. The last thing you want is her boarding that plane thinking that your balls aren’tin her carry-on.”

Arough laugh tears up my throat before Ilook at the grandfather clock pushed to the corner of the living room and feel my mouth fall. Her plane leaves in an hour. She has to be at the airport already. “I’mnot the guy that runs through an airport to make some intense, movie-worthy love confession, Dad.”

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