Page 74 of Craving the Player

The locker door slams shut and Iclench my sore jaw. The last thing Iwant to hear right now is afucking Itold you so. Especially from my brother.

“Do you have anything useful to say or are you just going to continue to lecture me?”

“I’mnot lecturing you. Ijust think there are better things that you can be doing with your time right now. Like trying to find aplace to live in Toronto.”

My eyes pop open instantly before narrowing on his shrugging shoulders. “Not going to happen.”

“Was worth ashot,” he sighs, leaning back against the metal locker with crossed arms.

“Was it?” Igrumble under my breath.

“It was. Not like it pulled your head out of your ass at all, though.”

“Like Isaid. You can leave anytime now.”

“You know that hurting yourself won’tmake you feel any better or bring her back, right? There’sonly one way to do that and you seem too stubborn to dump that damn pride of yours to do so.”

Ilift my right arm out of the ice water and place my palm on the edge of the tub, gripping it so tightly the cuts on my knuckle begin to pool with blood again. “Idon’twant her back. Iwas the one who ended things with her.”

I’mnot sure if I’mmore upset with myself or Tyler for bringing her up right now, but in all honesty, it doesn’tmatter. Iwas thinking about her long before he brought her up. Like Ihave been every fucking day since I’ve last seen her. It’sbeen three days since I’ve touched her, kissed her, felt her body against mine. Ihaven’theard her laughter, or felt the lurch in my chest that comes along with each smile she gifts me. I’mpissed off at the world, just like Iwas when Iwas an angsty teen. It’sridiculous.

“Yeah, because you’re an absolute idiot,” he says and moves towards me. “It runs in the family, don’tfeel too embarrassed. It takes alot of missed shots and sleepless nights alone, but it is possible to learn how women work.”

Iroll my eyes. “It took Dad adivorce to learn how.”

“Your parents didn’tget divorced just because Dad didn’tknow how to treat your mother, Braden. You know that.” He flashes me apointed look. “Plus, just because Dad divorced, doesn’tmean we’re all doomed to the same fate. I’ve never been divorced, nor do Iever plan on it. You just have to realize what you have to lose and whether or not you’re really willing to lose it. It took me far too long to come to that realization, brother.”

“You and Iare very different, Tyler Bateman.”

“So what?” he asks stiffly, aggressively, like he doesn’tlike me calling him by his mother’ssurname. Idid it to put some distance between us, feeling too exposed under his expert stare. We’ve known each other too long for him not to be able to see right through me, but it still pisses me off.

“So, one of us is meant for areal relationship while the other is not. You, my dear brother, are the one that was destined to be ahusband and father. You believe in the happily ever after bullshit. Idon’t. Idon’twant to have someone rely on me that heavily. Idon’twant that sort of pressure.” Idon’tknow if Iwould be able to stand beneath the weight of it.

“So you plan on living the rest of your life in adifferent pussy every night? Give me abreak.”

“If that’swhat happens then sure. Icould think of worse ways to live.” Lifting my arms above my head, Istretch out the numbing ache in my shoulders. “Hand me atowel would you?”

Tyler tosses me one, tenser than astretched elastic band. “You can’tfool me with this tough guy shit, Braden. You miss her and you’re too stubborn to tell her that. You’re going to regret letting her leave.”

My teeth scrape the inside of my cheek as Iget out of the tub and step onto the cement floor. Iwrap the towel around my wet underwear, water pooling at my feet.

Idon’tjust miss her. I’mway beyond that, and I’msure the purple crescents of exhaustion beneath my eyes make that more than obvious. The bed doesn’tfeel the same without her warm, smooth skin or clumps of brown hair that almost always wind up in my face as Isleep.

“It doesn’tmatter what you think. I’mgoing to be fine, she’sgoing to be fine, we’re both going to be fine. We weren'teven that serious.”

Tyler bursts into afit of laughter, gripping onto the side of the bench and keeling over dramatically. My anger begins to bubble under my skin the longer Iwatch him put on ashow.

“Right,” he chortles. “Let me ask you aquestion.”

Iblink, not trusting myself to speak.

“If you weren’tserious, then Idon’tsuppose it would upset you to think of her being swept off of her feet by some big-time successful hotshot in Toronto? It doesn’tmake you angry in the slightest to think of him bending her over their shiny kitchen countertops and having her scream his name, begging for more of his coc—”

His words stop short when Ishove him against the lockers, my forearm pressed tight even against his throat that he feels the weight of it against his windpipe. With atilt of his head, he grins, eyebrows dancing with amusement. “Exactly.”

With agrunt, Irelease the pressure on his throat and place my palms on his chest to shove myself back. My nostrils flare as Ishove my hands through my hair. “You have afucking death wish.”

“Call it whatever you want. But you know that I’mright. You can’thave it both ways. If you let her go because you refuse to stop letting the past live in the present, then you’ll lose her. You can’tlive your life out of fear, Braden. You’ll end up living it alone.”

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