Chapter Ten
Sierra
“Just sex?” Sophie sputters, spitting chewed up lettuce from her salad across my desk. It lands on apicture frame of me, Clare and Liz from our trip to the zoo this past month. Liz sits on my shoulders wearing awide smile with two missing teeth and apair of light-washed, blue jean overalls with bronze buttons. Clare stands beside us, struggling to hold three melting ice cream cones in her hands. It was scorching hot that day. Ithink I’mstill finding skin to peel from the nasty sunburn Igot.
It’sbeen aweek since Ilast saw both Braden and Sophie. Work has held me by the tits, keeping me busy to the point of near exhaustion. Idon’thave much energy left by the time Iget home at night to do more than microwave afrozen meal and crawl into bed. My phone remains chalked full of unread texts and unanswered calls. It’sawonder I’ve even managed to shower and throw on makeup every day.
Sophie wipes her mouth with anapkin that was previously folded on her lap. “Just sex aguy like that? No way in hell. I’mcalling it now, S. It won’twork.”
“You only think that because you don’teven know the guy. He’satotal douche-bag.” Istab my plastic fork into my salad container and bring abunch of leafy greens to my lips.
Inever knew how much Iwould love being able to eat my lunch in an actual office instead of outside or jammed inside of asmall lunchroom until now. And from Sophie’slaid-back posture, Ican tell that she approves as well.
“Asexy douche-bag,” she mumbles, still staring at me with an unconvinced glimmer in her blue eyes.
“Doesn’tmatter. I’mnot looking for anything more than sex. You know that.”
Clearly not believing me, Sophie scoops up the rest of her salad before shoving it in her mouth and tossing the empty container in the trash can by the door.
“Whatever,” she says with her mouth still full. “All I’msaying is that you might want to be careful if you’re so against catching feelings. Aguy like Braden won’thesitate to dump you out on the street like it’sgarbage day once you lose you’re no longer all shiny and new.”
“Iknow.” Inod. “You don’thave to worry about me.”
“Uh, yes Ido. You’re my best friend, Sierra. Iworry about you more than anyone.”
Slapping ahand above my left breast, Ilet out an exaggerated sigh, my eyelashes fluttering. “Ilove you too.”
“Anyways,” she sings. “Isaw Maeve the other day.”
Ifreeze instantly, blood draining from my face. The mood between us shifts, and Ihate myself for allowing just the sound of her name to have such anegative impact on me.
“Oh? Did you two talk?” Please say no.
“She saw me before Icould turn around.” Sophie visibly cringes from the look on my face. I’mnot surprised, Idon’teven need to look in the mirror to know that Imust look like akid who just had their lollipop snatched from their mouth.
“Great.” Ipush away from my desk and begin busying myself with the lunch wrappers covering the top of it. The slight tremble in my hands only fuels my temper as Idrop the empty salad container into the trash can and shove it down harder than necessary. Once, twice, three times. Ilet my repressed anger break free each time Ishove the container further and further into the garbage bin. Iclose my eyes, letting out ashallow breath before righting myself and turning around.
“She seems alittle off,” she says slowly, guilt dripping from every word. Her forehead is wrinkled and she avoids my stare. Ifeel instantly selfish for reacting the way Idid, seeing how upset it’smade her, but Ican’tfind it in myself to apologize. Neither of us have done anything wrong. Maeve is the one to blame for all of this.
Catching my best friend having sex with my boyfriend of four years will never not sting. And six months later I’mstill not over it. I’mnot sure if Ishould be by now, but I’mdefinitely not. Istill miss them both so much that Ihate them even more for it. They don’tdeserve to be missed. They deserve to live avery miserable life together. They should be missing me.
“Idon’tcare.” The lie burns my throat. “She seemed fine when Logan was shoving her up against the wall of Sinners the other night. Actually, she seemed pretty fucking great.” Okay yeah, I’mbitter. Ihave aright to be.
“What?” Sophie gasps. “She definitely didn’tmention that.”
“And you’re surprised why? She lied to us for months, Soph.” Ilean back against the wall with my arms crossed, trying desperately to ignore the pain beginning to grow between my eyes.
“Iknow.” She sighs softly, lips forming asmall pout. “Ijust thought that she could have changed, you know. Gone back to how she used to be. We could have been agroup again.”
Iplace my hand on her slouched shoulder. “Ihope for the same thing. But she broke my heart, Sophie. Itrusted her with my life and she used that against me for who even knows how long.”
She nods before leaning her head back against my stomach. The memories of that night never seem to fade or lose their colour. They stay clear and vibrant, like afreshly painted canvas.
Igot home from work and heard him calling out her name from our bedroom. Iremember the spiked up, messy head of blonde hair peeked out from beneath our heavy white comforter. Her short black dress was strung carelessly across the back of my office chair. The sound my wine glass made as it fell from my hands, shattering against the hardwood floor. Ican feel the burn in my throat from when my choked sob flew across the room, the two bodies jumping anxiously from the bed.
“Sierra?” Sophie calls, staring up at me curiously. Iforce asmile and fall back in the now, shoving the memories to the back of my mind.
Moving my gaze to the sunflower shaped clock hung from the wall behind my desk, Isay, “Lunch goes by too fast.” Ilaugh awkwardly. “I’ll call you later?” Or, in other words, can you please leave?