Page 86 of Lucky Hit

THIRTY-SEVEN

OCTAVIA

I'm a complete idiot. As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I knew I'd made a mistake. But I'm stubborn—way too stubborn to ever admit that to anyone. Now here I am a week later, without Oakley, a birth mother, and utterly miserable.

I know I should call him and tell him I made a mistake. But I can't. I don't know why, but I can't bring myself to. Not right now. Because even though I regret what happened, I can't help but think maybe it was the right thing to do.

As soon as Oakley told me he would play in the United States, my heart broke. I wasn't ready to hear that. As selfish as it seems, I just don't know if I could have dealt with it. Just the thought of what happened when he was in Penticton happening over and over again pains me. I don't know if I'm strong enough for that.

I let myself become too caught up in being with him to think about anything else. He made me forget about all the what if's, and it ended up hurting me in the end. Like I knew it would.

"Room for one more?" Morgan asks gently, peeping around my bedroom door.

"Yeah," I breathe and make space on my bed for her. I yank my blankets up and tuck them under my chin as Morgan gets comfy beside me.

"Have you seriously finished watching Friends in under a week?" she asks incredulously, her eyes wide.

I shrug in response, not taking my stinging eyes off of the screen. She sighs, wraps a small arm around me, and pulls me into her side. "You don't have to go through with this, you know."

I pull away from her slightly. I don't want to hear this right now. "Yes, I do. It would never have worked out."

She leans her head against mine and sighs through her nose. "How do you know that? That's just fear talking. I thought you loved him."

I'm taken aback by that and lift my head off her shoulder to glare at her. "Of course I do."

She raises her eyebrow. "Then why isn't it worth it? You know he would never do anything to hurt you. You're worrying about nothing."

I know she's right. My heart aches for Oakley, I've just been doing a great job fighting it off since the minute he turned away from me. Hiding feelings and self-destructing are things that come naturally to me.

"It's too late now. You should have seen his face, Morgan. He hates me," I mumble. The look on his face when I ended our relationship flashes in my mind.

"He was hurt, Ava. Just like you were. You never know unless you try," Morgan says quietly, surprising me. She's not exactly Oakley's biggest fan.

"Since when did you get so wise?" I tease, laughing for the first time in days.

She grins broadly. "What do you mean? I've always been this way."

That only makes me laugh harder.

???

I press the doorbell and can't help but laugh at the cheesy ringtone. That's a new one.

My dad opens the door. He looks at me, shocked.

"Ava? I didn't know you were coming!" His eyes are wide and what looks like engine oil is smeared across his hands and forehead.

I give him a half-smile and throw my hands up into the air in exasperation. "Surprise."

"Hey, I'm not complaining. I missed you, sweetheart." He grins crookedly and pulls me in for a tight bear hug.

The sudden comfort takes me by surprise. It takes less than two seconds for my nose to sting and my eyes to burn. Dad moves to pull away, but my grip on him tightens. He lets out a throaty chuckle.

"You gotta let me go so we can get inside, honey. It's freezing out here. Why did you ring the doorbell? You should have a key," he teases, his tone light and airy.

Reluctantly, I pull away and try to push the oncoming tears away before he can spot them. "Right. I just missed you guys. Where's mom?"

We walk through the open door and I sigh when the instant warmth radiating from the lit fireplace warms up my frozen body. I miss having a fireplace.

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