Page 63 of Healing Hazel

“And I you.” The general straightened, moving to sit on the chair beside her bed. “I am so sorry about Christmas. This has all turned into quite a mess, hasn’t it?”

Hazel shrugged. “It hasn’t been all bad. I’ve been a nurse here, Father, just like I always hoped to be.”

“Very good. And you’ll be able to be a nurse once you’ve returned to London.”

Hazel frowned. “Perhaps.” She stretched out the word, looking at Jim, then back at her father. “The Red Cross is in need of more nurses, you know. There is much to be done here.”

“We can discuss all that once you’re safely home in London and fully recovered.”

Hazel’s frown deepened. “But I—”

“Excuse me.” Jim broke into the conversation before Hazel turned it into an argument. It was obvious she did not want to leave. He needed to convince her it was the right thing to do for her health, but he preferred to do it privately. The constriction returned to his throat as he thought about saying goodbye.

“Miss Thornton needs to rest. General, I imagine you’re anxious to see Captain Bryant as well.” Jim held open the curtain.

“I’ll return soon, my dear,” the general said. He kissed her forehead and followed Jim out of the curtained area.

They walked toward the other end of the ward. Captain Bryant’s bed was at the very end, where the light was less severe on his headaches. Once they were nearly there, Jim called Lucía over, introducing her to the general.

When she heard the man was Hazel’s father, Lucía’s eyes widened with interest.

“Lucía is our head nurse,” Jim said to General Thornton. “After you visit with the captain, she will show you and the sergeant to your sleeping quarters and send for a meal. I imagine you are tired and hungry after your journey.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jackson.” The general glanced back at the curtained area. “When will my daughter be ready to travel?”

“Soon,” Jim tried to say, but his voice made no noise. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Soon.” It must be soon.

When Lucía and the general left, Jim returned to Hazel’s bed and stepped back through the curtains. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them when he entered.

“How is your pain?” he asked.

“It is manageable,” Hazel said. “As long as I don’t cough.”

He nodded. The morphine could wait, then.

Hazel looked toward the opening in the curtains. “My father seems determined to take me away from here.”

Jim let out a breath. “I recommended to him that you should return to London. Your recovery could take months, and this is not the place for it.”

Hazel stared at him, the hurt in her expression hitting him like a blow. “You’re sending me away?”

“Not at all,” he said. “But London provides the best chance for a successful recovery.”

She blinked. “I thought that I... that you... we...” Her voice softened to a whisper. She swallowed and then coughed deeply. “I should like to be alone now, Dr. Jackson.” She turned onto her side, facing away from him.

“Hazel.”

“Please... I don’t want to talk anymore. Please just go.”

He stepped back through the curtains, kicking himself for how he’d managed to botch the explanation. There surely were a hundred other ways to deliver the news, to convince her that it was the only way, that the decision was made with her health in mind. Now not only was Jim about to lose the woman he loved, but thanks to his inability to express his feelings without sounding like an utter fool, she would leave without knowing how he felt. That, at least, he could remedy. He rubbed his eyes and walked back toward the office, knowing he could not remedy the feeling of his heart breaking apart.

Chapter 21

Hazel lay still long afterJim was gone. She wished she could just fall into a deep sleep and forget everything, but contrary to each time she’d closed her eyes over the past week, she lay painfully awake now, her stomach hard and her heart aching as she repeated Jim’s words again and again in her mind.

She’d been so certain he would be on her side, that once he heard that she was to be taken to London, he would convince her father that she should stay—or at least ask her to return once she was well. But he hadn’t argued for her. He’d been the one to insist she leave. He hadn’t wanted her to stay.

The frustration at having everyone else dictate her life was making her itch with vexation. She finally had what she’d always wanted: the chance to be a nurse, the opportunity to decide her own future, and of course, a person she loved with whom to share it. But it was being taken away, and Hazel had no say in the matter. And Jim. Knowing that she would leave him behind, that whatever had been growing between them, whatever might have come of it, was over made her heart ache.

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