Page 78 of Jocks

Azalea Blooms 11

Azalea

Whatthehellwas he thinking? Why now? Why wait until today to tell me? I had a feeling for a while but he never once mentioned it. So many emotions swirled out of control within my body. A tide coming and going.

I shouldn’t have run. But what do you say when your best friend confesses that he’s in love with you? I was embarrassed by how I acted with him, ashamed of myself.

I was asking for more than just sex with him. I realize. I was asking him for something I didn’t even know I wanted.

I was in love with Lukas Allen Munson and I had been since I was a teenager, and the first time he told me he wanted me I did the one thing he was afraid of… run.

The text messages and calls had finally stopped a day ago. I hadn’t responded to any of them. What would I say? I hadn’t seen him around campus at his normal hang out spots. When I went with the girls to The Ice Drop he was never home.

I knew what this feeling had become… loneliness. I fucking missed my best friend. I kept having vivid dreams. We’re in the dark and he’s doing exactly what he said. Using my body, sometimes roughly, until we’re both wrung out. Until we collapse because we’re panting so hard from the workout.

I guess I’m just confused at this point. So very confused. Tonight was the first time I’d see Lukas since that dreadful weekend. Cam was dragging me to the hockey game.

I think she was honestly just tired of me moping around the house. My heart did a pitter patter when I thought about seeing him tonight. Seeing him in his natural element on the ice doing something he loved.

He loves you, too. A little voice in the back of my head kept reminding me. Constantly.

The crowd was going wild. They always did when it came to these guys. The following they had was huge. The cheering with each goal. The cringing when someone got shoved into the wall.

He was a beast on the ice and in the bedroom. I’d gotten a first-hand look of how life with Lukas could be. And I fucking wanted it but had no idea how to ask.

They took home the win tonight against The Stars, and I’d never been prouder. Seeing his smile for the first time in weeks? Well, it broke my heart.

Because I wanted him to smile like he used to at me. I wanted soft caresses to the side of my cheeks, the kiss on the forehead, being wrapped in those beefy arms. Making love to him whenever we wanted to.

When no one was watching his face grew sad. Like his whole world was caving in, and he didn’t know how to stop it. A few times tonight he’d slipped up and I wondered if I was the cause.

My eyes traced over his muscular body. I admired him for all the work he put in. Killing himself to excel at his sport. His body took many hard hits but he kept on fighting. Kept on skating even if there were bumps along the way.

Because unlike some of us—me—he had the courage to fucking try. He didn’t run away from his problems and hide his head in the sand. No, he confronted them.

You could never say Lukas wasn’t honest with his feelings. I wanted to run to him. Wrap him in my arms and beg for him to still love me. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted that look to be removed from his face because I couldn’t stand the sadness it held.

His eyes found mine after they’d won and he looked so dejected. It was my fault. I was the only one who could fix things between us.

All the holidays came and went. I didn’t go to the Halloween party. Thanksgiving and Christmas were here and then gone. I didn’t even go home over break. I couldn’t see him. At this point, our friendship was ruined, and I couldn’t handle it.

Our friends were talking about the spring break trip we’d started planning forever ago as we sat at The Ugly Duckling that night. Lukas, of course, wasn’t there. I kept zoning in and out. I didn’t laugh. I wanted to cry. He’d been avoiding me for months.

Next week we’d go on spring break and I’d be stuck with him for an entire week. No one would swap me rooms at the hotel, so to make matters worse, I’d be spending my time stuck in a small room with him.

“Reservation for Munson.” I jumped when he walked up behind me. I hadn’t heard him coming.

“Yes, sir. Your room is number 312. Third floor. Hang a right off the elevator and it’ll be the fifth door down on your left.”

The receptionist provided us with our own keys and we took the elevator. Luckily our whole group had rooms together for the week. The only thing separating us was a door.

I followed behind Lukas as he took our bags and walked with a purpose toward our room. He didn’t say a word, but typical Lukas was doing what he thought was right. Being a gentleman. Even when he was mad at me. Even when we hadn’t talked for months. He was still doing what I needed him to do.

How did I miss all the signs over the years? The bright smile when he saw me. The way his goofiness only came out when I was around. The way he stared at me like I meant something special to him.

I’d missed it because I didn’t want to see it. I hadn’t wanted things to change between us. Now I knew they had. The electronic lock on the door sounded and he opened it, moving aside to let me walk in first.

The room was gorgeous, complete with a floor to ceiling window that led out to a balcony. An en suite area. And… one king size bed.

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