Page 96 of Dirty Dix

She leans into my touch, and her willingness has the alpha in me beating my chest in pride. “I know you have skeletons in your closet, we all do, but until you can get past whatever is biting at your heels, I think it’s for the best that, after this weekend, we don’t see one another.”

Madison frowns. “Thank you for apologizing. You’re right, you were an asshole. I was actually coming down here to give you a piece of my mind. You were awful to me, Dixon,” she asserts, making me feel even worse than I already do. “But I was awful to you, too. I also owe you an apology.”

“You owe me nothing,” I say with a firm shake of my head.

But Madison perseveres. “Yes, I do. You’re not a mistake. You never were. I’m sorry for saying something so cruel. But you’re right. I do have a terrible past, and I’m trying to work through it. I’m just sorry I couldn’t work through it before I met you. But maybe we could still be friends? I mean…I’ve missed you this past month.”

As appealing as that sounds, seeing her, touching her, and being near her proves I can’t just be her friend. We were never just friends. After tasting her, I want something more, so being her friend will end up driving me insane.

She can see it written all over my face and nods. “Okay, I get it. Not gonna happen.”

“I’m sorry, but we were never just friends. There was always something more. I still want more, but it’s either all or nothing. I’m tired of playing games,” I say, watching a single tear roll down her cheek. “I should have told you earlier, but honestly, I didn’t know I wanted more until you walked out on me. I’m just as messed up as you are,” I confess and let out a sarcastic snort.

“I highly doubt that,” she replies with a sniff. “I meant what I said. It’s not you, it’s me.”

Unable to help myself, I wrap my hand around her nape and draw our foreheads together. “In this circumstance, I think it’s both of us. Maybe in another lifetime,angelo?” I say, and Madison gasps, her warm breath tickling my cheeks.

“Maybe,” she replies half-heartedly.

“Thank you so much for saving my ass today. I owe you.” I pull away and try to lighten the mood.

Madison sniffs with a sad smile. “Consider it paying back my dues. You’ve saved my ass on more than one occasion, so it’s time I start paying you back.”

And that answers my question. She’s come to my rescue because she feels guilty for what transpired between us. But what she doesn’t realize is that I’m the one who’s sorry—for everything.

“You owe me nothing,” I say once again.

“I know, but I want to do this for you. I could see how uncomfortable you looked, and I couldn’t just walk by and not help you. I mean, even though youwerea complete bastard to me the other morning, I can’t hate you. I tried,” she admits shyly. “This is the least I can do. I really am sorry, Dixon. I shouldn’t have kissed you back. You warned me I couldn’t take it back, and I didn’t want to, but…”

“I understand,” I finish when she doesn’t continue. “Maybe in another lifetime,” I add, as that seems to fit our situation perfectly.

“Maybe in another lifetime,” she sadly repeats with a nod. “So we get through tonight, and I’ll be by your side, acting the part of the perfect girlfriend, I promise. And then when the night is over, it’s…goodbye?” she questions, her voice quivering.

“Let’s just get through the evening first,” I reply, not wanting to be the one who makes that call.

“Okay.” She nods, wiping her eyes. “Well, I better go find something to wear. I didn’t pack too many nice things, so I need all the time I can get to try to pull something presentable together.”

As she attempts to stand, I stop her by placing my hand on her forearm. She looks down at our connection, and I know she feels it too.

But ignoring those incessant sparks, I say, “Leave it to me.” When Madison raises a confused brow, I smile. “Let me do this for you.”

She understands what I mean and nods. “Okay, I’ll be waiting in my room. It’s two thirty-five.”

“Perfect. Meet you in the lobby at seven?” I ask, still disbelieving she’s just agreed to be my girlfriend for the night.

“Seven it is,” she replies and stands. “See you soon.”

“See you soon,” I repeat, watching her as she walks away from me.

After trying to hate Dixon for the past few days and failing, I knew I had to find him and confront him because this feeling in the pit of my stomach was making me ill. I was sick of reprimanding him in my mind, and I knew the only way to get over him was to talk to him face-to-face.

It was easy to fall into the façade of pretending to be his girlfriend because if I wasn’t so emotionally screwed up, then I wouldn’t have to pretend.

Once I get back to New York, I’m going to confront my demons instead of trying to run away from them. I don’t know if this strength comes from meeting Dixon, but whatever it is, I’m just glad I finally have the balls to do what’s right. My fearprotects my assailant, and I’m sick of them living in the light while I’m confined to the dark.

Once I find my light and if Dixon still wants me, then it’ll be our time, but until then, I have to work on becoming the stronger person I’ve always wanted to become. Or, like he said, maybe it’ll be our time in another lifetime.

But first things first, I have to get through tonight.

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