Page 103 of Dirty Dix

Stepping inside, I push my floor number, and the cart charges upward, the dull elevator music and Madison’s soft breathing the only noises filling the cart.

Looking at our reflections in the mirrored wall, Madison’s frail, fragile appearance breaks my heart.

The moment the cart stops at my floor, I step out, holding Madison’s frame like a bag of gold. She tightens her grip aroundmy nape and nuzzles into my neck, making a contented sound. My feet pound onto the carpeted floor as I make my way toward my room, and the moment I’m inside, I head straight for the bedroom and switch on the bedside lamp.

With a little maneuvering, I pull back the sheet and gently place Madison down. The moment she feels the soft sheets beneath her, she sighs and lets go of my neck, nuzzling into the pillow. She’s still in her gown, but after tonight, there’s no way I’m going to undress her, so I gently cover her with the sheet and comforter. She’s asleep within seconds.

I stand and watch her sleeping, mourning her broken appearance. The once-radiant, confident woman now looks like a shattered, scared child.

When I’m certain she’s sound asleep, I unfasten my tie and slip off my jacket and shoes. I wearily lower myself onto the floor beside her, using the bedside table as my support.

Here I’ll stay, keeping my promise, protecting her until she feels safe once again.

Iawake, my body screaming at me for sleeping on the floor. I can’t remember when I fell asleep, but I do remember Madison was fairly settled when I passed out.

Looking at my watch, I see it’s a little past 6 a.m., and Madison is gone. I jump up, my murky brain trying to play catch-up as I frantically search the room for where she could be.

Just as I’m about to charge out the door, I hear the toilet flushing. Madison turns off the light as she exits the bathroom, giving me a small smile when she sees me standing in the middle of the room like a raving lunatic.

“I had to use the bathroom,” she explains. Tugging at the hem of my Yankees tee, she says, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

She smiles and shyly walks over to the bed, slipping under the covers, leaving me standing and staring like a fool.

“I’ll be back,” I quickly say, heading toward the bathroom and closing the door behind me.

Bracing my hands on the sink, I turn on the water to appear like I’m actually in here for a reason because I need a damn minute to compose myself. I process through the events of last night and know that, although Madison may not be comfortable discussing what happened, I have to at least try to get her to talk about it. From her response to whatever triggered her episode, I think it’s safe to assume she’s never had therapy to deal with the monsters in her closet—especially since she’s hiding in closets to escape her monsters.

Brushing my teeth and washing my face, I think I’ve exhausted my bathroom stay long enough and quietly close the bathroom door behind me as I exit.

Madison is sitting up, leaning against the headboard, obviously awaiting my arrival. When our eyes meet, she quickly looks away, biting her lip. I give her some time to regroup and hunt through my closet for a tee and a pair of sweats. Stripping off my shirt, I quickly slip on a T-shirt and try my best to put on my sweats without flashing her.

Once I’m dressed, I make my way over to the bed and stand at the end. I remain silent, waiting for Madison to speak.

“I’m sorry, Dixon,” she says after a minute of silence. “I’m so sorry I embarrassed you…”

I gesture with my hand for her to stop talking. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And you most definitely did not embarrass me. I was so worried about you,” I confess, and she lowers her eyes. “What happened?” I ask, making no attempt to move.

Madison shrugs and tugs at a loose thread on the comforter.

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask, deciding to play twenty questions and hoping one of them will be the right one.

“No!” she cries, her eyes flicking up to meet mine. “No, you did nothing wrong.”

“Then what happened?” I ask, imploring her to tell me.

Madison sighs before confessing, “I was talking to Rebecca, and something she said…upset me,” she says, but I know talking to Rebecca was just a trigger to a deep-rooted problem.

“You know nothing that comes out of that woman’s mouth is credible, right?” I assert, crossing my arms over my chest. I hold my breath and pray that she hasn’t spilled the beans about Juliet.

“I know,” she replies with a nod. “But it brought up some bad memories,” she finally admits. “I obviously haven’t dealt with them as well as I thought I had. But last night,” she says, her eyes focusing on mine. “The breakdown, the tears, the near-catatonic state…that hasn’t happened in a long time.”

“So this has happened before?” I gently press, still making no attempt to move. Her freak-out at my apartment was so different compared to this.

“Yes.” Her mouth dips into a small frown.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

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