Page 42 of Into Temptation

“Where’ve ya been? And where are yer shoes?”

Closing my eyes, I brace the door handle, wondering if I still have time to make a run for it. But I’m done running.

Shutting the door, I forget about why I fled Punky’s house early this morning and walked back to Rory’s flat, needing the fresh air to help clear my head. I owe Rory an explanation.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I got caught up,” I explain, turning around and trying my best to smile.

Rory’s hair is sticking up like he’s run his fingers through it over and over again. His eyes are bloodshot, hinting he’s not slept a wink. “Caught up doin’ what? We had dinner plans with my parents. Did ya forget?”

No, I didn’t.

The thought of spending an evening with Rory’s parents while pretending that everything is okay literally drove me to drink.

I can’t shift this weight in my chest. It’s been here since Punky returned. I can barely breathe.

I shouldn’t have called him last night, but they say the truth comes out when you’re drunk, and boy, did I disclose a lot of truths last night.

The words spilled from me before I could stop myself, but I didn’t regret them. I wanted Punky to know how I feel. He may be able to pretend that everything between us is fine, but I can’t. I can’t stop feeling the way I do about him.

I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard, but it seems the more I do, the further detached I feel from this new life I built without Punky in it. And that life includes marrying Rory.

I want to love him how I do Punky, but I just don’t. My heart belongs to a man I can never have because he’s my half-brother.

This morning, I woke up in Punky’s arms. It was the most peaceful slumber I’ve had in ten long years. But when I realized it wasn’t his arms I should be in, guilt overrode me. In some sense, I had cheated on Rory, and he didn’t deserve that.

I fled Punky’s home, not caring I had no shoes. I just needed to get out of there. The farther I walked, the heavier Rory’s ring felt. I realized marrying him isn’t fair; I don’t love him the way he deserves. And he needs to know that.

“Rory, I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

“This,” I clarify, gesturing a finger between us.

I wish I could sugarcoat this to spare his feelings, but he deserves more than that.

Rory’s cheeks billow before he exhales loudly. “I don’t understand. Y’ve got cold feet, is it? A’ll wait. A’ll wait forever for ye, Cami. I love ya.”

I turn my cheek, guilt eating at me as he confesses his love because I don’t feel the same. “I don’t have cold feet,” I explain softly. “I…I can’t marry you, Rory, because I don’t love you how you deserve.”

Even though it’s the truth, it doesn’t make me feel any better for breaking his heart.

“Where were ya last night?” He knows, but he asks me anyway. “Cami! Answer me.”

I jolt, not used to his tone as he’s never raised his voice to me before.

My silence has him filling in the blanks. “He’s yer brother, ferfeckssake! It’s sick.”

“It’s not like that,” I cry, angered.

“How is it then?” he challenges, folding his arms across his chest.

He’s livid, and he has every right to be. But forcing me into this isn’t doing him any favors. “I know I can’t be with him,” I state, pushing my sadness aside. “But I don’t have those feelings for you. I don’t think I ever will.”

“What feelin’s? Yer talkin’ rubbish! You had those feelin’s for me when ya said yes to bein’ my wife. Why has that changed?”

Biting my lip, I shrug. “I don’t know. It just has.”

Rory sighs, messing his hair up further as he runs his fingers through it. “Puck bein’ back has confused everyone,” he shares, the first time he’s openly spoken about him to me. “I understand. But y’ve got to let him go.”

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