Page 21 of Into Temptation

“I better see to our guests.” I try to conceal my thoughts, but the girls know it’s just an excuse.

As I turn on my heel and leave the room, I hear Hannah call after me. I want to keep walking, but I don’t.

“Are ya all right?” she asks, gently touching my arm.

“I’m fine,” I lie, and she sees straight through me.

“Don’t be pretendin’ that wasn’t weird.”

I shrug in response. “We all knew this wasn’t going to be easy. But I didn’t want him finding out this way,” I confess with a quiver. “I wanted to tell him when the time was right.”

“Was there ever a right time to tell him?” Hannah questions. She’s not having a go at me, but she did suggest we tell Punky before something like this happened.

“I suppose not. Fuck, this is a mess.” I refuse to cry and mess up the hours Amber spent on my makeup. “He won’t forgive me for this.”

Hannah rubs my arm. “Don’t be quick to judge him. He understands ten years is a long time. Ye were right to move on.”

“But with his best friend?”

“Aye, that will come as a shock, but ya can’t help how ye feel.”

If only she knew how I really felt.

“Thanks, Hannah. I should be the one giving you advice, seeing as I’m supposed to be the adult.”

She laughs. “I just want everyone to be happy. And I know Punky is happy if you are. It’ll take some gettin’ used to, but he’ll want the best for youse, and if that’s together, then he will accept it.

“Besides, it looks like Darcy is still keen on him. He could do worse.”

Just the mere mention of her name has me clenching my jaw. “Yes, you’re right. She has been a great support to him.”

I don’t elaborate because Hannah won’t like what I have to say.

“I better get downstairs before people start to talk.”

She reads the blow-off for what it is but doesn’t press.

I conceal my emotions, as I’ve become a master of hiding how I really feel, and put on a smile as I descend the staircase. All the faces are friends I’ve made via Rory because my friends and family are back home.

They promised to attend the wedding, but I don’t expect them to come. Besides, Rory and I haven’t discussed that far ahead. When he proposed six months ago, it came as a huge surprise. We have been seeing one another for about three years—on and off.

Our relationship has been strained because I’ve been coming and going between Belfast and America for ten years. The moment I ran out of money, I’d go back home and work eighteen-plus hours a day at any job that paid so I could save enough money to come back to Belfast.

But when I came back to Northern Ireland this last visit to see my friends and to hopefully see Punky, Rory said he wanted to marry me. I accepted, tired of being alone. Even though my feelings of loneliness never dissipate, they lessen with Rory.

But I had no idea things would happen so fast.

A few days later, Hannah told me she had seen Punky. I couldn’t believe he agreed to see her. I also couldn’t believe it when Hannah said Darcy believed she could help free him. I instantly felt guilty for accepting Rory’s proposal. I felt like I had let Punky down.

I knew I couldn’t be with Punky, but that didn’t lessen the guilt.

It still doesn’t.

Looking down at the beautiful diamond ring on my finger, it doesn’t change the fact that I wish I was wearing Punky’s ring.

Swallowing down my disgust, I paint my face with a broad smile, playing the part of the happy fiancée because Rory deserves that. He has been nothing but wonderful and supportive, understanding why I need space, and he still wants to marry me regardless.

One of Rory’s colleagues and his wife make small talk while I attempt to look interested, but I can’t stop thinking about Punky and how seeing him with Darcy angered me more than it should. I should never have come back here. Northern Ireland is filled with nothing but ghosts that continue to haunt me every single day.

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