Page 82 of Fallen Saint

Alek waves at the nuns through the glass, who smile and return the gesture.

I suddenly feel so…sad. So out of sorts. How can someone like Alek who inflicts so much pain also be able to show such humility? It doesn’t make any sense. But it’s clear the nuns, who are pure and only wanting to do good, are happy to see Alek.

I feel sick to my stomach as my world is once again tipped on its side.

Mother Superior opens the door to her small office and welcomes us in. “I am so happy to see you, Aleksei. How have you been?”

“Good, Mother Superior. Always busy, but good.”

We take a seat in front of her desk, waiting for her to speak.

“I wanted to thank you for your latest donation. It was—”

But Alek stops her with a sharp shake of his head. He doesn’t want gratitude. “Please, let’s not talk about that. Tell me how the kids are doing.”

“Considering their circumstances and where they are, they are as good as good can be. We’ve been able to add many books to the library as well as purchase new toys. Did you notice we painted?”

Alek nods. “I did. It looks wonderful. How are the adoptions going?”

“Slow,” she confesses. “But it’s God’s will. We have to trust Him as He has a plan for everyone.” I notice her gaze drifts to the cross around my neck, similar to the one which hangs over her habit.

“Willow’s father was a religious man,” Alek explains. “A minister in America.”

Mother Superior smiles. “What brings you here?”

I’m expecting Alek to answer for me, as he wouldn’t want me to spoil his reputation, but he doesn’t. He sits back and awaits my answer.

“I—” I clear my raspy throat. “I’m here, helping a friend.” Not entirely untrue.

“Well, thank you for visiting us. Aleksei is a wonderful man. This place wouldn’t exist without him.”

I don’t know what to say as I wonder if Mother Superior’s attitude would be different if she knew who Alek really was. But maybe she already does? It’s a small sacrifice to turn a blind eye to where Alek’s money is coming from as long as it’s for the greater good.

However, in this circumstance, do two wrongs make a right?

It’s a question for God.

But when a young nun pops her head around the doorway, declaring lunch is served, my questions will have to wait.

After we had lunch with the nuns and the kids at the orphanage, we bid them farewell. The kids seemed to know Alek well, and after watching him interact with them, I couldn’t help but feel something other than hatred toward him.

He wasn’t acting. His feelings were sincere. He spoke to them and even played ball. I stood watching, unsure what to make of all this. Hating him when he’s a monster is easy, but when that mask slipped, I saw something I never thought Alek was.

A human being.

His childhood was the reason he threw millions of dollars into this place. He said he knew what it felt like to be unloved and hungry. But with his profession, does he not realize that by dealing drugs, he is inadvertently destroying the lives of children outside these walls? Or he may even be the reason some were in there in the first place.

My moral compass is screwed. It can’t choose which way is north anymore.

Needing a moment to process today, I was silent on the way back to Alek’s. However, when something popped and our chariot veered to the left, it seemed we needed a detour. A tire had blown, leaving us sitting in a tow truck on the way to some Ferrari dealership to have it replaced.

Alek knows the driver, and they’re speaking fluent Russian, but I don’t mind. I don’t have the energy to make small talk. We pull into an industrial area and head for the enormous Ferrari workshop. Alek hasn’t pressed, but he knows something is on my mind.

The driver parks the truck and goes about unhooking Alek’s car and pushing it into the garage. “I’m sorry we had to take a detour. My mechanic said it wasn’t as easy as just changing the tire. He wants to make sure no damage was done mechanically.”

“It’s okay.”

“I hope it won’t take too long,” he replies, exiting the truck and offering his hand to help me down. I can’t bear to touch him right now, so I shuffle along the seat and hold the doorframe as support to jump down.

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