Page 82 of Ascension

Itake a deep breath, and let it out slowly. You can do this, Liv, I tell myself. He’s just a guy, like any other guy. Things got awkward, just apologize and move on. I repeat those words for the hundredth time, steeling myself for the uncomfortable conversation.

Along with my internal pep talk, I remind myself of Maximus’ words. His implication that they all considered me a burden. Olivia Rothchild is no one’s burden. I’ll get through this, then cut ties with the four bonded brothers. Despite the ache that forms in my chest at that thought, I strengthen my will. I never have, and never will lower myself to chasing after some man who doesn’t appreciate me.

I take another breath, pushing open the door with my shoulder before I lose my nerve. I decided to grab a peace offering from the dining hall before making my way to the library. Leaving the others to enjoy their meal before joining me for the study session.

A few students are quietly studying at the far side of the library. I spot Kyros sitting behind the computer, checking something intently on its screen. My heart pangs at the sight, my mind going back to the first time I met him. No, Liv, get a hold of yourself. I scold myself before striding over to him.

“I thought you could use a pick me up.” I hold one of the to-go cups out for him. He looks up excitedly from the screen before schooling his features. Taking the mug with a nod of thanks.

“Green tea?” he asks, taking a sip.

“I wasn’t sure what you drank.” I fumble with the words.

“It’s perfect.” He smiles back reassuringly, before his lips turn down in a frown. Eyes focusing on the cup before remembering himself. “Oh, please have a seat.” He gestures to an office chair beside him, on the other side of the desk. I awkwardly perch on the edge, not entirely comfortable with the weight of the impending conversation looming over our heads.

“I’m sorry—” The words rush from both our lips at the exact same moment. Our brows both furrow in confusion as though we are the mirror images of each other.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” he asks, fingers nervously fidgeting with the plastic lid.

I let out a long sigh before answering. “I handled the situation poorly. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me.” I give him a forced smile, the words more difficult to get out than I thought they would be.

“No, you have every right to be upset,” he rushes out before bringing the cup to his lips, needing to do something with the nervous energy. “I should’ve handled the situation better,” he says with a long sigh.

I purse my lips, not wanting to play the blame game anymore. It’s hard enough to just sit here, knowing what I do now. I take a sip of my coffee, attempting to calm my nerves. Fuck not having coffee in the afternoon. I need that jolt of caffeine. The boost of energy would fuel me through the undoubtedly long study session tonight.

“Well, I guess we can just agree that we both could have handled it differently and move on from here.”

“That would be great.” He breathes a sigh of relief, the nervous energy dissipating from around him. He takes another sip of his tea, his face relaxing. Enjoying the taste now, rather than using the gesture as a way to expel that energy.

“I’m sorry for what you walked in on the other day. I can assure you it will never happen again,” I add on, finality ringing clear in my tone. Needing to clear the air completely.

Thinking back to that night, I obviously misinterpreted the emotions I saw play across his face in the brief moment where our eyes met. His brows furrow at my words, opening his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“I’ll be out of the house as soon as this master is found.” I give him a polite smile, standing from the chair, letting my walls close up around me.

He opens his mouth to speak, stepping towards me. His hand reaches towards my arm to encircle it in his warm, soothing touch. I step out of reach and meet his eyes, not letting him see past the walls now erected to shield me from the pain.

He winces at the slight, mouth opening and closing, gaze searching mine for anything. I already knew he would find nothing, my emotions are buried down deep inside.

My gaze swings to the sound of the door creaking open and Kali and the other students file in behind her. I silently thank the universe for its impeccable timing.

“Your study group awaits.” I gesture to the growing crowd of students grouping around the entrance. I stride towards them, not waiting for his response, and stop at Kali’s side.

“Is everything alright?” she asks under her breath, and I see her gaze flitting back and forth between the two of us. I don’t dare take my eyes off of her as I nod in response, giving her a weak smile that doesn’t meet my eyes. I just need to get through the next week. That’s all, a week, and I can leave this whole mess behind.

We split into groups, sitting around the study tables. Kyros teaches from a board he rolls in from a private study room in the back. He reviews all the materials up to this point, suggesting study techniques for those of us a bit rusty with the exam concept—the constant influx of information, a welcome reprieve from the anxious energy that ran through me earlier.

Maximus hadn’t helped matters with his surly presence all day, glaring and growling at anyone who got too close to me, especially the men for some odd reason. I couldn’t even do my usual warm-up with Domenic. Maximus nearly threw him across the room just based on the mere proximity we were in as we readied our stances.

I could only practice with a female, and even then, I could hear his rumbles of protest clear across the room whenever they got a hit in on me. Which made it nearly impossible for me to find a willing partner. How am I supposed to practice for finals when I can’t fight anyone? Without them fearing the crazy contradictory bastard of a god would rip their throat out.

Thankfully he hadn’t followed me here, disappearing as I rounded the hall towards the library. Apparently, deciding I would be Kyros’ issue to deal with now. Regardless of their displeasure of shouldering the burden—which I apparently am.

“I’ll see you all in class tomorrow and here again in the evening for more review,” Kyros concludes, stepping away from the front. He goes to stand by the desk as everyone gathers their things. Accepting their thanks on their way out the door.

“We’re all going to study in my room if you want to join us?” Kali asks excitedly, making her way towards the hall.

I open my mouth to respond when Kyros cuts in, “Olivia? We really should head back to the house now.” Obviously, he overheard Kali’s question. My shoulders slump, remembering my new prison arrangements. She gives me a sympathetic look before pulling me in for a quick hug.

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