Coach Jones stared down at her, his brow furrowed in a deep frown. Tara could see the need to keep her safe warring with his understanding of her desire to keepplaying.
After a couple of seconds, he sighed and glanced around, as if he could see the school board, athletic director, and a bunch goody-two-shoes, do-gooder parents frowning at him in disapproval. “Fine, you can play. But if you feel even a smidgeon of dizziness, you get your butt off thefield.”
Without even a smile—because, let’s face it, she was going back out on that field whether he wanted to let her or not—she sprinted back out onto the field. She hadn’t forgotten to agree with him. Because it didn’t matter if she did get dizzy, not that she would. They’d have to carry her limp body off the field before she’d stop playing in what might be her last competitive soccergame.
As she ran, Tara felt a strange sensation, as if she were being watched … which was ridiculous. Of course, she was being watched. There were a hundred or so people in the stands, mostly relatives of players, all watching what was happening on the field. There might’ve been more if the team was actually any good. But this felt different. As if somehow someone was watching her and only her … and watching her very closely. She turned and slowly scanned the crowd. Her eyes took in faces she recognized, even if she’d never spoken to any of them, and other faces she didn’t. But it was the man on the far-left side of the bleachers who held her attention. He didn’t fit in with the rest of the fans of the Buffalo High girls soccer team. He was out of place, like a piece of puzzle that somehow got put into the wrong box. He was sitting alone, as if he knew he didn’t fit. He was a larger man. No, large wasn’t an adequate description. He was agiantman sitting alone in the stands. And it looked like he was staring directly at Tara. She watched him for several moments. It was hard to tell for sure from this distance, but it seemed his face never glanced away from where shestood.
“Coach is going to let you play?” Shelly asked with a biggrin.
Tara nodded and faced her friend, trying to forget about the man in the stands. “Yep,” she said with a smile. “I’m not about to sit this oneout.”
“My girl’s got game.” Shelly chuckled and high fivedher.
Tara took her place on the right side of the field on the fifty-yard line. She waited as the ref tossed the ball in the air, and the center forward, Christina, jumped up to head it. The game was back on and Tara took off after the ball, all thoughts of the out-of-place man gone from hermind.
* * *
“I can’t believe we lost,”Shelly said for the fifth time since entering the locker room. “I mean, we were up by one and then that kick. Who can kick likethat?”
The kick in question had been done by the opposing team’s left forward who had managed to get a goal from the forty-yard line. It was a fluke shot. A once-in-a-decade kind of shot, and it happened when there were thirty seconds left in thegame.
“I swear the soccer gods hate us.” Shelly continued towhine.
“Soccer gods?” Christina asked. “I’m pretty sure those aren’t athing.”
“Well if they were a thing, they’d probably hate us.” Shellyhuffed.
Tara couldn’t disagree. It seemed like their team couldn’t catch a break. Every time they were close to getting in the play-offs it was ripped from their grasp. It flat outsucked.
“On a completely different topic, because if I continue to think about the fact that I just played my last soccer game I might cry”—Shelly turned to her—“are you going out withTucker?”
Tara’s stomach dropped, remembering the boy’s latest invitation, which had come the previous day. She’d been hoping Shelly had forgotten Tucker had asked her out. Again. Tara thought since she hadn’t mentioned it before the game then perhaps her flighty friend might have forgotten. Her BFF, who was heading for a demotion if she didn’t abandon the whole Tucker thing, was like a dog with a bone when she got hung up on something. She would gnaw on it until she’d eaten clean through themarrow.
“I’m not really feeling the whole Tucker thing,” Tara said as she took off her jersey and stuffed it into herbag.
“Well, not yet you’re not.” Shelly chuckled. “But let him take you on a date and I bet youcouldbe feeling all kinds of Tucker. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t say no, if you know what I mean. He’s hot, you’re hot, and your names fit perfectly together. Tara and Tucker sitting in a tree…” She began to sing. “…k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes making out, then comes Tara with a great bigshout.”
“Shelly, there’s something wrong with you,” Beccasaid.
“Probably,” Shelly agreed with a snicker, and Tara didn’t see a lick of shame on herface.
Tara choked down the bile that rose at the idea offeelinganything on Tucker. Not because he wasn’t attractive, because hesowas. And he was also a genuinely nice guy. Why he was interested in her she couldn’t guess. Unless it was some sort of fascination with wanting to be with the orphaned, angrygirl.
Regardless, it wasn’t Tucker that was the problem. It was Tara. At eighteen years old, she’d never been interested in a guy. Shelly had once asked her if she had a thing for chicks—Shelly’s words—and Tara had had to seriously search her emotions. It wasn’t hard to see why her friend had asked the question because Tara kept all guys at arm’s length, along with the rest of the world. ButTara wasn’t attracted to females, and shedidfind males attractive. She had just never found one that she could actually imagine being with. Did that make her a weirdo because she didn’t spend all day fantasizing about a life with a hot guy? Probably. Did she care? Again, maybe somewhere down deep in her withered soul, but she wasn’t about to admit it to herself. Denial of difficult emotions seemed to be her M.O. Avoid, deny, and live in ignorant bliss. Well, not bliss exactly. Really it was just living in ignorance and constantly pushing away the emotions she didn’t want to dealwith.
“I don’t want to lead him on,” Tara said. “Besides, he’s probably just interested because I haven’t dated anyone, and he sees me as a challenge.” She grabbed a clean T-shirt out of her bag and pulled it over herhead.
“Naw,” Shelly said shaking her head. “I don’t get that vibe from him. He looks at you with goo-gooeyes.”
“Tucker’s too nice to just go after a girl because she’s a novelty,” Desiree added, because she loved to stick her nose in other people's business. “Even if it isyou.”
“How are those cheeks feeling, Des?” Tara asked with a smirk. “Has the sting worn off and now you need areminder?”
Desiree bared her teeth at Tara as if she were a snarling dog. Tara wondered if she should tell her it wasn’t a good look for her, but Shelly beat her toit.
“Either say something nice once in a while or put a muzzle on that snout ofyours.”
Another voice broke in before Desiree couldrespond.