Page 76 of Bound By Earth (The Nature Hunters Academy 1)

“That’s more important than healing our trust issues?” Tara asked as she opened her door and climbed out. Tara closed the passenger door and then opened the back door to get her purchases. By the time she’d walked around the front of the car and was headed to the front door, Shelly had rolled down her window and had her arms hanging out ofit.

“Do you want my answer or what?” her friendasked.

“If I said, ‘or what,’ would it hurt yourfeelings?”

“You killed my feelings a long time ago. I’m just a body going through the motions oflife.”

Tara laughed as she headed up the stairs of the porch. “I think you’re going to be justfine.”

“Don’t be surprised if I wind up with a circuit board for a heart,” Shelly called out through the window as she backed out of thedriveway.

Once in the house, Tara glanced at the clock and saw that Carol would be home in an hour. She wanted to have dinner ready when her foster mom got home so she was going to have to hurry. She took the dress to her room, hung it up in the closet, and set her purse and the bag containing her shoes and earrings on her bed. Her phone was burning a hole in her back pocket with its continuedsilence.

She washed her face and hands before heading back to the kitchen and rummaging through the pantry to see what she had to work with. It didn’t take long to realize it had been a while since she or Carol had been to the grocery store. “Okay, grilled cheese and tomato soup it isthen.”

Her timing turned out to be impeccable. As she took the pot of tomato soup off the stove, Tara heard Carol come in the frontdoor.

“It smells delicious in here.” Carol’s voice carried into the kitchen. Tara heard the hall closet door creek open and knew Carol was hanging up her purse on the hook inside the door. Then she would take off her shoes and slip them into the closet. Knowing Carol was going through her evening routine was strangely comforting toTara.

“Grilled cheese and tomato soup,” Tara called out. “Because it’s freezing outside.” It totally wasn’t freezing outside. It was April for goodness sakes. “Or maybe because it was all wehad.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Carol said. “I’m going to change really quick and then I will joinyou.”

Tara set the table and Carol entered a few minuteslater.

“Thank you, Lord, for this food and for Tara’s kind heart. And thank you, Tara, for making us dinner,” Carol said as she stirred her bowl of soup and took an appreciativesniff.

“You might want to reserve thanking me until you’ve actually tastedit.”

“I worked a twelve-hour shift and came home to a meal ready to eat that I didn’t have to think about or prepare. That makes it delicious no matter what it tastes like. And it’s a can of soup. How badly can you have messed thatup?”

Tara smiled. “How was work?” she asked and then took a bite of her own grilled cheese sandwich. Tara had to admit, she did make a mean grilledcheese.

“It was one of those days where I wondered why I went into nursing in the first place,” Carol said. She scooped up a spoonful of soup and sipped it. She closed her eyes and smiled. “Hmm, so good. Every time I eat tomato soup, doesn’t matter what time of year, it always takes me back to when I was a kid and my grandmother would make it for me and my brother during the cold wintermonths.”

Tara’s throat caught. She swallowed a spoonful of soup, and her own memories surfaced. Her mother had loved to make tomato soup and would add evaporated milk to it to make it creamy. Why was she only just now remembering that and not while she’d been preparing dinner? She wished it had been a memory that had resurfaced while she’d been alone and not while she was sitting with Carol who always saw toomuch.

“It’s good to remember them,” her foster mom said. Her voice was gentle and her eyes full of understanding. Somehow, without fail, she knew Tara was thinking about herparents.

“How do you always know?” Tara asked. It was a question she’d wanted to ask many times over the years but hadn’t been sure if she really wanted to know the answer. Now, she was simply looking for a distraction from her own pain and from her constant thoughts about Elias. Damn Elias and his lack ofresponse.

“Pain is a universal experience,” Carol said. She sat her spoon down, picked up her sandwich, and took a bite. Tara watched Carol chew slowly and purposefully as she seemed to gather her thoughts. After swallowing, she continued. “It’s universal in how we feel it and in how it is manifested. Our pain can be from a physical injury or it can be an emotional response to something. Regardless of what causes the pain or what type of pain it is, it is revealed in each of us the sameway.”

Tara found herself leaning toward her foster mom, her food forgotten as she waited to hear what it was that she had in common with the rest of the humans on the earth. What was it that made her not alone in her suffering? What made her not unique? “What is it?” She heard herself asking when Carol didn’t continue as fast as Tara wanted herto.

“Our eyes,” Carol answered. “When we are in pain—emotional or physical—our pupils dilate.Always.”

Okay. That wasn’t what Tara had been expecting. Although, she didn’t really know what she’d been expecting, though she didn’t think it was going to be a biological response. But then, Carol was a nurse. Naturally, she would know something like that. And it would be in the forefront of her mind when dealing with a person who’d had traumatic experiences in theirpast.

“I think it was something God did so we couldn’t hide our pain,” Carol continued. “There are some who have an immense tolerance for pain. They can bury it so deep you’d never even know that having their leg cut off was excruciating. There are some who can take their emotions and shove them into steel boxes and then encase those in ice so that everyone around them never know they are suffering. But a single thought for a single second that they are in pain, and poof”—she made a popping motion with her hand—“the eyes dilate. It’s sometimes only for a fraction of a second and you have to be watching closely, but it’s there.” She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Tara’s. Giving it a firm squeeze, she looked into her eyes. “I don’t believe God designed us to be alone. And I especially don’t believe He ever wanted us to sufferalone.”

Tara blinked several times, forcing the tears wanting to fall to stay right where they were. She knew Carol cared for her and only wanted to see her thrive, but Tara wasn’t ready to go down this road. She was too raw from dealing with her emotions toward Elias. She couldn’t be stripped even more by talking about her parents. “Why does pain make them dilate?” When in need of a distraction, ask aquestion.

Carol gave her hand one last pat and then released it. She took another spoonful of soup before answering. “It’s chemistry. When the body is in pain, physically or emotionally, it releases a hormone called adrenaline. And that hormone causes the eyes todilate.”

Of course, it was a hormone.Hormones were the curse of humanity. If the whole Garden of Eden thing were true and Adam and Eve were created by God and then screwed up and then were punished … hormones were thatpunishment.

“Thank you so much for the meal,” Carol said as she finished her last bite. She stood up and gathered her plate, cup, and silverware. She paused and looked at Tara. “You have come so far from the little girl who sat on my porch all those years ago. And regardless of how much work there still may be left, don’t let it take away from what you’ve alreadyaccomplished.”

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