“Strange. Oh, well, I was hoping to hear all about this kiss so you could tell me if it’s as amazing as it sounds in books and looks in movies. I keep thinking there’s no way it’s as good as they act, but then I’m like, why would the idiots keep doing it if it’s not that good? We could just kiss each other and see what all the fuss isabout.”
Tara’s eyes widened, and she saw a smirk on Elias’s face. Had he seriously heard that through the phone? Not that Shelly spoke quietly or anything. Even her non-yelling voice was still prettyloud.
“Okay, that’s where we’re going to end this convo. I’m going to get some homework done so I don’t have to do it onSunday.”
“You’re so weird,” Shelly said. “But I still love you, ya dirty woman of the streetcorner.”
“Lame.”
“Shut up. I’m tired. Bye.” Shelly ended thecall.
Tara sat the phone on the bed beside her, taking a slow breath before she once again looked at her uninvitedguest.
“Why are you here?” She repeated the question she’d asked before she’d gone to eat dinner withCarol.
“I’ve beenthinking.”
“Anytime Shelly says that to me, it usually means I run the serious risk of being thrown in jail. Now, I get very leery when anyone utters those words.” She watched as he picked up the paper he’d been looking at while she’d been on the phone with Shelly. Tara’s eyes widened when she realized it was her poem. She lunged forward to snatch it from him, but he stood deftly and held it out of her reach, which wasn’t hard considering she was five foot nothing and he was a damn giant. “That’s private,” she whisper-yelled.
“It’s beautiful and eye opening,” he said, keeping his voice low. And then to her complete and utter horror, he began to read it outloud.
“He stole my breath and all my thoughts he now heldcaptive.
The life I had carefully built, I no longer wanted tolive.
I find myself wondering, could there be more thanthis?
If I don’t take this leap, is there joy I mightmiss?
Do I want to continue holding onto the pain andpast?
Or do I want to start anew, moving forward atlast?
The fear of change keeps me chained, bowing to itswhim.
It binds my hands and holds me fast, keeping me fromhim.”
Tara couldn’t lookat him as he read. She felt as if he were peeling back the layers of her protection, leaving her raw andvulnerable.
“If I breakthese chains and let the walls come crashingdown,
Can I trust that in the aftermath he will still bearound?
Can I follow him into a future not planned andunclear,
Giving up the safety of the anger that has been to me sodear?
I have no answers yet. I have not decided mydirection.
Explore the world before me, or stay behind myprotection?”
When he stopped,she realized he wasn’t going to read that last few lines, for which she was verygrateful.
“Tara.” He said her name gently. “Please look atme.”
She took a deep breath and then raised her head. When her eyes met his, she didn’t see any mocking laughter or judgment. She saw relief andunderstanding.
“I told you we couldn’t betogether.”