Page 34 of Cowboy's Christmas Girlfriend

“Really? I’m impressed.” Suzanna took another sip. Uncle Vern’s wine was strong, but it went down smooth. She’d have to be careful, or she’d wind up saying too much. “No one was supposed to get hurt,” she said. “What happened was...Jesus. Where do I start?”

“Maybe the beginning?” Sarah tipped her a wink.

“The beginning. Don’t you know chapter one’s always the hardest?” Suzanna closed her eyes. “Well it started with two big lies, one mine, one Will’s. I let my publisher think I’m a rancher—that I’d based my book on my own life. Will told your mom I was his girlfriend. Truth was, I’d never laid eyes on a ranch in my life, and as for me and Will, we were just friends. But we could keep both lies going if only I...”

“If you came to the Christmas Games, and Will let you use the ranch for your PR.”

Suzanna hung her head, embarrassed. Her glass had gone dry and Sarah filled it up.

“Didn’t we say one glass?” She drank some more anyway. It made her head swim. “It was so good at first. So fun, me and Will. I was a wannabe horse girl all through high school—Black Beauty, National Velvet, I read ’em all. I begged Mom for a horse, but she said I was...she said I’d squash it. She said if I lost weight, she’d consider it.” Suzanna’s laugh came out bitter. “Can’t believe I bought that. Horses cost a fortune, and we had nowhere to keep one. But I wanted it so bad I let myself believe. Let myself picture the day I weighed in at one-twenty. She’d get me my horse, and come see me ride, and we’d be like your family, like...” She looked down, embarrassed. “I guess she knew what she was doing, making that promise. I was never going to be skinny. I’m not built that way. So I told myself I was fine, never getting to ride. But Will showed me how, and he made me feel... He said I was a natural. I think that might’ve been the happiest moment of my life. Will never saw some fat girl, some hopeless klutz. He saw me, and that was the best feeling on earth. I thought he felt it too, but...”

“But?” Sarah was leaning forward, her own wine forgotten.

“Kat and Taison were faking it too,” she said. “At least, Kat was. I told her to be honest, to go for her dreams, and when she did, that was that. All they had down the drain.”

“You can’t compare you and Will to Kat and Taison.” Sarah set down her glass and got to her feet. “Honestly, I’d say you gave Kat the right advice. Those two made sense in high school, but they’ve grown apart. Taison’s this homebody, a farm boy to his core. Kat’s more the social type, and she can’t share that with him.”

“But you can’t build a relationship on a pack of lies.” Suzanna blinked back tears. “That’s what they tried to do, and Will and I did the same.”

“I don’t see it that way,” said Sarah. “Kat and Taison’s big lie was that they still felt the same. Their feelings were gone, but yours aren’t. Will’s aren’t. You care, I can see it, and I know he does too. I know he loves you. That’s worth fighting for, right?”

Suzanna tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. She gulped more wine, found her voice. “I want to,” she said. “But Will...I think he’s done. I can’t stay and fight if he wants me gone.”

“So you’ll just go back home? Back to how things were?”

“No—I don’t know.” Suzanna glanced at her laptop. “I thought I’d go to Australia, research my next book. After that, I thought maybe I’d find some small town. Somewhere like this, where I could find my place.”

Sarah frowned at that. “Why find a new place when you have one right here? We all think you’re great, me and Mom, Ann and Beth, all the ranch hands—not to mention the rest of our clan. Uncle Vince hasn’t stopped talking about what you did at karaoke.”

Suzanna made a sound, half-laugh, half-sob. “You still love me, really? After all the lies?”

“You never lied about how you feel about my brother. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters.” Sarah sat down beside her and slung an arm over her shoulders. “And I’ll tell you one more thing: you can’t leave before Christmas. I’m putting my foot down. What kind of grinch walks out on Christmas Eve?”

“The mean kind, I guess.” Suzanna managed a smile. “Okay, I’ll stay. I’d hate to miss the chance to wow everyone with this.” She dug in her suitcase and whipped out her ugly sweater. She flapped it at Sarah, who shielded her eyes in mock horror.

“You really are one of us,” she said.

Suzanna grinned broadly, but inside, she felt hollow. Will hadn’t come, hadn’t knocked on her door. The big Christmas party would be her final farewell, not just to Will but to Beth and Ann, to the ranch and the family and the home she’d found here.

15

Everyone was staring at her.

Suzanna had never felt so exposed in her life, never so naked, despite her ugly sweater. If anything, the garish knit only made it worse. She couldn’t be sure if they were staring at her sweater…or because they knew she’d come here under the falsest of pretenses. Double-false, even, with a lie on each side. The covert glances, the laughter, were they for her sweater, or were they for her?

“Here. Have some joy juice. You need to relax.” Sarah handed her a glass brimming with punch. Suzanna took a sip and nearly choked.

“You spiked this!”

“Damn straight.” Sarah gave her a shake. “Go on, drink up. It’s a party, not a funeral.”

Suzanna drank up, but she didn’t feel festive. She surveyed the scene bleakly, a lump in her throat. “I thought Will would come,” she said. He’d managed to avoid her since their fight by staying out of the house as much as possible. “Did I chase him away from his own family’s Christmas?”

“No, you didn’t,” said Sarah. “He chose to stay home and sulk, and that’s on him. The rest of us want you here—see? Here comes Aunt Jess.”

Suzanna looked up. Aunt Jess was waving, weaving her way through the crowd. Her sweater was the ugliest Suzanna had seen all night, red and green checkered with MERRY CHRISTMAS emblazoned in puffy paint across the front.

“Suzanna!” She jogged up to her, breathless, and hugged her one-armed, her other hand occupied with a tumbler of punch. “I heard you might be looking for a place in town. If you haven’t already heard, I have something available, a nice big two-bedroom above my bookshop. And it comes with a cat, sort of, so that’s a bonus if you like ’em.”

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