Page 93 of The Love of My Next Life
“You want a soda or something to eat?” I ask her, and Claire huffs from the couch next to her.
“Goaway, jerkface,” she grumbles, and I scowl at her.
“I’d love a soda, please,” Lennon says, and when I look back at her, she’s smiling. A real smile that makes her eyes crinkle. I turn around and rush into the kitchen, grab three sodas, and bring them back to the couch.
I give one to Lennon and she says thank you, giving me another of those smiles. When I try to give one to Claire, she smacks at it. I roll my eyes and go put it back in the fridge. When I come back, they’re gone.
I walk up the stairs and hear laughter coming from Claire’s room. I want to go in there. I want to laugh with them, but Claire would probably throw her lamp at my head. I sit by my door, close enough to hear them talk, and take out my drawing pad.
I flip through the pages of cartoons and stuff until I find a blank page. Then, I draw her eyes. I draw her eyes over and over. I draw them when she scowled at me that first day at school. I draw them when she smiled at me on the couch. I’m surprised how well I can do it. I didn’t know I’d been paying such close attention to her eyes.
When Mom calls us for dinner, I wait for the girls. I walk down the stairs after them. I help Mom pass out plates. She tells me thank you like I’m some sort of weirdo. I even get up and refill everyone’s drinks when I see Lennon’s is empty. She smiles at me again. The real smile. I haven’t even seen her give Claire that smile.
After dinner, I follow the girls back upstairs and hang out in my room until Mom calls up that it’s time for lights out. I knock on Claire’s door.
“What, Macon,” Claire spits. I sigh and lean on the doorjamb. I look from Claire to Lennon.
“I just want to see if you guys need anything,” I say.
“We’refine, jeez, go away,” Claire says, then throws a pillow at me. She misses. I stay on the doorjamb and watch Lennon. I wait for her to speak. When she realizes I’m not leaving until she answers, her lips twitch up and she shakes her head slowly.
“I’m okay. But thank you.”
I sleep light usually. My body still isn’t used to not having to listen for Dad. Tonight, though, I listen for Lennon. Just in case.
The next morning, I hear the shower kick on. One minute later, Claire comes into my room. She doesn’t even knock. She’d have a freakin’ cow if I did that to her, but whatever.
“You stay away from her,” she says sternly. I jerk my head back.
“What?” I laugh a little because she looks kinda crazy with her bedhead and her scowl.
“Lennon,” she says. “Stay away from her. I mean it.”
My jaw drops, and I gape at her.
“What the hell are you even talking about? I’m not even doing anything. I’m just being nice.”
“Yeah, well, don’t.” She folds her arms over her chest. “She’smyfriend. Not yours. And she thinks you’re weird.”
I scoff. “No, she doesn’t.”
“Yes-huh. I said you’re weird, and she agreed.”
“Did she really agree, or did she just say that to shut you up because you’re so annoying?”
“Ugh.” Claire stomps her foot, then her face falls from anger into sadness. My heart drops. “I’m serious, Macon. Please let me have this.” Her eyes well up with tears and she sniffles. “You already took Dad away. Mom never has time for me because you can’t stay out of trouble, and she has to work all the time since Dad’s gone. Don’t take Lennon, too.”
I shake my head. “That’s not... I wasn’t trying to...”
“She’smyfriend,” Claire cries, then angrily swipes at her tears. “Just let me have her. You have everyone else.”
I don’t know what to say. It doesn’t feel like I have everyone else. It doesn’t feel like I have anyone at all. But she’s right. I have ruined everything. I’m a sucky brother.
“Okay,” I say softly.
“Promise,” she demands. “Promise, Macon. Promise you’ll stay away from her.”
I nod and close my eyes.
