Page 69 of The Love of My Next Life
I don’t say anything. I don’t respond at all. If I open my mouth, I don’t trust what will come out of it.
He presses one last kiss to my lips, and then he disappears out my window, leaving a dent in my pillowcase and a hollow feeling in my chest.
* * *
With Monday morningcomes a pounding headache and suffocating anxiety.
I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to face Sam or Claire. I don’t want to know which Macon I’ll get today, if he’s even there at all.
When my phone buzzes in my skirt pocket, I head out the door to meet Claire. She’s on time, which means she’s eager to talk. I wanted to drive myself, but she begged. I climb into the car in silence and put on my seat belt.
“Hey,” she says. Her eyes are on my face, studying me, so I force a smile.
“Hey.”
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she says quietly. I shrug.
“I’ve been avoiding everyone.”
It’s not a lie. Had Macon bothered texting at all yesterday after creeping out of my window, at close to four in the morning, I would have ignored him, too. I think. I hope.
“I know it’s a lot,” Claire says. “It’s been just you and your dad for a long time, and this whole change is really sudden. I didn’t understand why you were so upset about it at first, but I talked to my mom, and I think I get it now.”
She takes a deep breath and grabs my hand.
“But I think we need to be excited for our parents. They deserve happiness.”
I know she’s right, but her words feel patronizing. When you’ve spent your entire life being selfless, being scolded on the importance of it chafes. Don’t I deserve to be happy, too? Don’t I deserve a little warning before my whole life changes?
I pull my hand out of Claire’s grip.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Claire,” I tell her.
“Okay,” she whispers after a moment. Then she puts the car in drive, and we head to school.
Macon is nowhere to be seen when we pull in the lot. Neither is Sam. A visual of them in that passenger seat invades my head, and I prepare myself for the worst.
“Hey,” a low voice greets me as I climb out of the car. I look up into deep brown eyes and a warm smile.
“Hey, Eric.” I focus on his dimples. “How was your weekend?”
He chuckles a little and grabs my bag, slinging it over his shoulder.
“I feel like I should be asking you that,” he jokes. “I stopped by Saturday morning, but your dad said you were sleeping over at Claire’s. I was gonna take you out for a hangover breakfast.”
My smile is genuine. The first one in what feels like years.
“Thank you, Eric,” I say. “That was very sweet.”
He shrugs it off, but it’s true. Eric is sweet and kind. He’s thoughtful. Caring. He would never do anything to hurt me. He certainly wouldn’t get high and hook up with someone hours after...
No. Nope. Not going there.
“It was a little weird, though, Davis carrying you off like that,” Eric says tentatively, and I want to groan at the mention of Macon. I keep my face blank. “But I guess since he’s Claire’s brother, and you guys’ families are close, he’s just...protective...”
He keeps his eyes on me as his statement trails off, asking without asking. The hope I see there kills me, but what do I say? Actually, Macon’s been fucking with my head for weeks now, and I think I have a crush on him that might kill me?
No. I definitely can’t say that. So instead, I force yet another tight smile and nod.
