I know once I do it, I will have lost my chance with her. Forever.
 
 I grab onto the door handle of my truck and pull myself up, wincing as my spine straightens. My body instinctively hunches over, falling into the side of the door. I pull it open and crumble into the seat, squeezing the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. “Motherfucker!”
 
 I turn the key in the ignition, dropping my head onto my hands before I finally make my choice and send the text.
 
 The fucking code.
 
 It always trumps everything.
 
 That’s how I’d always lived.
 
 Until now.