Page 100 of Broken King

I haven’t missedalcohol much during my pregnancy.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a glass of wine or a good dirty martini with a blue cheese olive as much as the next girl. But going without has been far from the worst thing in the world. However, replacing the glass of wine, or better yet, the shot of vodka I could really go for right now, with a cup of decaf hot tea is not really cutting it. Amelia got me one of those tea boxes, filled to the brim with different flavored tea bags.

Most of them taste like lemon furniture polish.

So I grab the vanilla and hope for the best.

It’s not bad.

But it’s not vodka.

It’s not going to help me sleep tonight.

But hey, at least it’s decaf, and I did pick the one that’s supposed to have a calming effect.

So there’s that.

I’ve just taken my first sip when the handle of my front door jiggles. And I swear to God, if one of my siblings is here, I might be the Kingston most likely to spend the night in prison tonight because there’s no way I can deal with one of them right now.

The door creeps open, and I yell at them, “Go away. I’m fine.” But by the time I make it to the hall, expecting to see anyone other than the man who’s there, Cade is closing the door and locking it behind him.

“I thought you left.” The words are out of my mouth before I have time to think better of them, but my give-a-shit-meter has been depleted tonight. “You forget something?” I hold my ground in the hall. “You know what? Don’t answer that. I’m not sure why you’re here, but I don’t have the energy left for round two. So how about you go home, and we pick this up tomorrow?”

“That’s not how this is gonna work.” Cade takes my hand in his and pulls me after him. “Come with me.”

Once we’re in my living room, he sits me gently down on the couch and stands in front of me in the same clothes he was wearing an hour ago. Of course, I changed as soon as he left. Something I’m regretting now as I sit in front of him in one of his Crucible tanks and a pair of boy-cut, cheeky panties with my white sweater wrapped around me. Not a fashion statement. But no one was supposed to be seeing me tonight. And I’m seven months pregnant. I may still be in high heels when I walk through that door, but once I’m inside, it’s comfort over fashion.

“I’m sitting. So how about you tell me how exactly this is going to work? I’m all ears.” I raise my tea to my lips and blow on the hot liquid.

Cade lifts his head to the ceiling and blows out a long breath before looking at me. “Feeling feisty, are we, Scarlet?”

“I’m feeling annoyed. I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling like someone played wall-ball with my head, it’s going in so many directions between you and my mother. I’m also feeling like you left and gave me just enough time to channel all my guilt and hurt into a whole lot of anger. So did you come back to talk about my feelings? Because we could be here for a long time if you did.” Crossing my legs right now to add a nice little emphasis at the end of my tirade would be perfect. But since my growing belly makes that uncomfortable, I kick my legs up on my coffee table instead.

“I came here to say I shouldn’t have left. I’m still mad you didn’t trust me enough to talk to me sooner—”

“It’s not about trust, Cade. It never was. It was about me. About my fear of ruining the only relationship I ever wanted. Why can’t you see that this was the most traumatizing event of my life? My father’s death and my parents’ divorce aren’t even in the same ballpark as this. I have so many emotions tied up in losing our baby that just the thought of it makes me want to schedule an appointment with my therapist. So, yes. Maybe I didn’t make the best decision. Maybe I let my fear and pain override my common sense.” I jump to my feet and immediately regret the quick movement when I wobble.

Cade’s strong arms reach for my waist and steady me, but I smack them away. “You know what? Maybe I do feel feisty. You told me we’d fight and we’d disagree, but we owed it to ourselves to work through it. You told me you’d never leave.”

“And you still didn’t confide in me until your mother outed you to hurt me.” Cade’s voice rises until he’s practically yelling at me. “You are the most infuriating woman.”

His hand rubs my belly, and our daughter starts dancing on my damn bladder. “I’m mad as hell you kept that secret from me. It’s going to take me a while to get over it.”

I automatically move his hand over just a touch so he can feel our girl kicking me and leave my hand resting over his. “Then why are you here? Why did you come back?”

His other hand moves to my lower back and rests under my tank against my skin. “Because I love you, Scarlet Kingston. Nothing you can do is going to change that. I was mad earlier and needed a little space, but I shouldn’t have left. I chose you. I will always choose you. But it’s not easy for me to know I failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me, Cade. But you proved my greatest fear was right when you left. Every time I wanted to tell you about that first pregnancy... every single time I considered it, I backed out because I was scared it would push you away. I knew I needed to tell you, but I wasn’t willing to give you up, and my biggest fear was that I’d lose you if I did. Can’t you see it’s not that I don’t trust you? I trust you with my life. It’s that I’m worried I broke us once, and that this would break us again.”

Cade wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him until his chin rests on my head. “And then I went and proved you right when I left.”

“I’m usually right, St. James.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I’m sorry too.”

I yelp when he lifts me, cradling me in his arms. “Let’s go to bed, duchess.”

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