Page 31 of Always Earned, Never Given

Annabelle

Declan and I are quiet on the drive over to Nattie’s house. She shares it with her boyfriend, Brady, and their two roommates, her soon-to-be stepbrother, Murphy, and Sebastian Beneventi. I can’t even process what just happened this morning between Declan and me, let alone figure out how the hell to explain to everyone there why I’m wearing his clothes. Nattie is like a dog with a bone. Once she catches even a whiff of something happening between her brother and me, she’s not gonna let go.

Let go. That’s comical. I’m so good at letting go, I could be Elsa.

Let go of any feelings I may have briefly allowed myself to catch last night.

Let go of the fact that Declan managed to make me feel more in one night than I’ve felt in years. More like myself. More like I was actually living in my own skin. More alive.

I can tell myself, “Oh well, Belle. Better let go of that too.”

I can remind myself to keep that boxed up for later when I’m alone and can handle thinking about it. Break it down, compartmentalize, and pack it away to the far recesses of my mind to only be thought of again years from now.

Lock it away and throw away the damn key. That’s my best course of action. That’s what I’m good at.

Because Declan Sinclair is dangerous.

No one realizes I’m hanging on by only a thread. They don’t know that some days I fall into bed so grateful to have made it through the day at all. That control and sheer willpower are the only things getting me through. How much control would I have to give up to allow someone like Declan into my life? Someone forced to live his life in the public eye. I’ve been there and done that when I lived in New York. It was hard enough then, without the metric ton of baggage I’ve now got weighing me down added to the fucked-up equation.

The second Dec pulls to a stop in front of Nattie’s brick house near Kroydon University, I throw open the door of the Bronco and am halfway out by the time he turns the ignition off. I catch him out of the corner of my eye and see he’s getting out too.

Oh, no. No. No. No.

“Uh, Declan,” my voice comes out a little too loudly. “You don’t need to walk me to the door. I’m good. I appreciate the lift.” And all the orgasms. And a whole lot more, if I’m being brutally honest, which I’m not.

This gorgeous god of a man ignores me, slams the door of the Bronco, and walks around to my side. “I’m not just leaving you here, Belle. Let’s go see how everyone’s doing. I want to check on my sister, then we can grab Tommy, and I’ll take you guys home.” He places his hand at the small of my back and guides me to the door.

Damn him.

That crazy zap of electricity courses between us even through my bulky clothes.

Declan’s knuckles barely graze the door before it swings open and Nattie throws her arms around her brother’s neck. I take my chance to sneak by her and take in the surroundings. Tommy is happily sitting on the couch... petting a dog.

When did they get a dog?

Looking around, I don’t see Brady, Murphy, or Sebastian anywhere. I stand behind the couch and lean down, kissing my brother on the top of his head. “Hey, munchkin. I missed you.”

Emerald-green eyes that mirror mine look up at me briefly. He brings his finger to his lips. “Shh, Belles. Me and Rocky are watching Jurassic World.”

Wouldn’t want to interrupt a movie this kid’s seen a million times already. Guess he didn’t miss me. Maybe overnights could be a thing? “Oh, you and Rocky?” I put my hand in front of the chubby little brown and white bulldog’s nose so it can smell me. “Who does Rocky belong to?” I’m at this house at least once a week, and this cutie is a new addition.

Tommy shrugs his shoulders and turns back to the movie, effectively dismissing me.

Rocky looks from me to Tommy and plops her head back down on his lap.

Guess I see where I rank.

I follow the scent of coffee into the kitchen and blessedly see a full pot, freshly brewed. Come to Momma. On the ride over, I started coming down from the adrenaline rush I ran on all last night and well into this morning. I don’t think we slept more than an hour, maybe two. My head is throbbing, and my eyes are dry and tired. My first order of business is getting a big cup of coffee. Then, I should be able to function enough to figure out what’s next.

Moments later, Declan enters the kitchen alone, and I see Murphy heading up the stairs.

Nattie steps into the kitchen, and I watch Declan hand her a cup of coffee. She shakes her head no and leans against his shoulder.

Wow.

This girl never turns down coffee.

She wraps her arms around his waist before asking, “Don’t you have to get to the stadium?”

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