Page 15 of Anyone And You

“Speak, Axel,” she snapped. “You wanted to talk. Talk.”

“I don’t… I forgot something tonight,” I managed.

“What? You didn’t give me anything to hold.”

I saw that blue raccoon on the bar behind her, and a lump rose in my throat at the memory. “No. I forgot… I forgot this.”

My lips crashed into hers, obviously catching her off-guard as I wrapped a hand around her cheek, the other around her waist. She staggered, but I held tight. My heart fell to my fluttering stomach, itching for her to open up, to put me out of my misery. I would have begged had she asked me to. I would have sank to my knees and asked her to forgive me for not doing this sooner.

She slowly softened into me, her hands moving up my chest, and my body limped as her tongue slid against mine. I was nearly undone as a little moan left her, and she stretched on her toes, her arms wrapping behind my neck.

Why had I waited so long to do this?

The quick desperation faded into savoring as I backed us further into the room and slammed the door behind us. My hands roved over her back and up to her neck. I wanted every second to last an eternity. I could still taste the cinnamon on her tongue and smell the autumn breeze in her hair.

But she pushed my chest, and I stumbled as she looked up at me with regret in her eyes.

“Axel—“

“It could have been anyone tonight,” I said before she could break my heart. “But it was you. It wasyou. The one person that drives me to near insanity. The one person that can turn my entire day upside down. Sometimes I can’t breathe when I’m with you, and then when you’re gone, I can’t breathe without you. You are… You…Fuck.” I cursed myself for the corner I’d found myself in, for not knowing how to say what she meant to me. Not knowing how to let her know—

“If I’d had the choice for that date tonight, I’d have picked anyone…anyoneelse… and yet, it was you,” I said.

She flinched and took a solid step back. The vacancy of her body heat made my stomach drop. I could see the absolute devastation in her gaze, and it was all I could do to contain my frustration at my own choice of words.

“What the fuck, Axel,” she hissed. “You think you can come in here and kiss me, then break my heart after I told you—“ she swallowed, running her hands through her hair. “After I told you that I can’t do ‘nothing’ with you, and now—“

“I would have picked anyone else because you scare the shit out of me,” I admitted.

Saying it aloud, baring myself... agony swelled in my bones. I couldn’t stop myself from faltering, running my hand through my hair as I slowly felt every wall around me slide.

“What are you talking about? Why do I scare you?” she asked.

I paused, looking her over and hating the pained way she was looking at me. “Because you’re the only person that can get under my skin as you do,” I told her fast. “Because with you, I know it’s more than one kiss. I know it’s more than one night. It’s everything. It’s a lifetime. And I am powerless against it.”

Agony drained from her gaze, her chest rising with her jagged breaths. She shifted from foot to foot as she hugged her arms around herself, tongue darting over her lips. Those flushed lips. Fuck, I could barely think.

“Tell me how I drive you crazy,” she said.

I swallowed against my dry mouth as I chanced a step forward. She didn’t move away, so I moved closer. Close enough that I could reach her elbows to uncross her arms. Slowly. One word, one breath at a time.

“It’s the way you blast your damn pop music and leave the door open while you dance around the kitchen,” I started, the image placing itself in my mind. “It’s every time you bring a man home, and I have to hear the sound of your moans for someone else. It’s when you’re so chipper in the mornings and talk to me in the elevator like we’re friends. It’s…” I settled, bracing myself around her as I continued.

“It’s the way you sit on your balcony during the rain and look as though the world is falling apart around you,” I said, and her eyes lifted to mine, a sadness in them that I never wanted to see again showing its bewildering face.

“It’s how, in those moments, I don’t know how to help you,” I said softly.

She teetered on her feet as my hands ran slowly down her chilled arms. “I didn’t know you saw me,” she said.

“I always see you.” My hands entwined with hers, hovering there, watching her gaze darken as she lifted her chin.

“Do you want me to stop doing those things?” she asked. “Would that make you hate me any less? Would that—”

“Never stop doing those things.” My forehead met hers, and I closed my eyes to inhale the spiced vanilla and apple scent of the candle wafting around us. “I’m not very good with this,” I said. “But I know I want you. I know I’ve wanted you since the day I moved in, but I was too afraid of what this could be, and I couldn’t stand to get hurt again.”

“You’ve hated me since that day,” she said as she looked up at me.

I pushed her hair back off her face, noting the glint of amusement in her eyes. “Angry at the world,” I said. “How else should I have reacted to a beautiful light showing up in my life and trying to drag me out of the darkness?”

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